


Alice&Ian

by Aleandra_of_Silverlake, TakahashiYuri



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Before Blindspot, During Blindspot, Episode Related, F/M, Flashbacks, Friendship, Incest, Irony, Kind of AU, Love, Memory Loss, Not Beta Read, Sarcasm, Slow Build, Torturing, bad memories, fake ids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-04-30 20:15:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aleandra_of_Silverlake/pseuds/Aleandra_of_Silverlake, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakahashiYuri/pseuds/TakahashiYuri
Summary: Alice let out frustrated sigh. This was the worst mission ever! From her spot she shot two more guards as her brother was recharging his guns. It didn't bother her shooting more people, but much worse was the fact they were going to split. And she was the one closer to exit. Fuck."Get closer to me!""Easier said than done," Ian muttered.





	1. On your nine

**!!!PLEASE READ THIS!!!**

  
**Hello everyone! I know I've been promising you guys this for a long time. I know. Me and one of my best friends (Aleandra_of_Silverlake) were playing with this idea (they are our big OTP) what happened before Blindspot, what Jane's life could/would/should be and since it's really a few moths (make it.... like a year or something) back this started, I've finally found the guts to publish it. Still, it isn't finished. Sorry for mistakes, English isn't our main/mother/first language so... Just enjoy the ride. :) Thank you. And just because I've enabled comment moderation - it doesn't mean you can't write comments. Please, do! I will answer. :)**

* * *

 

 

Growing up next to someone like Alice wasn't easy. She's been always the tough one, taking care of her little brother, making sure they always had something to eat no matter the costs. He knew it and he admired her for all those things she'd done for him for he knew they would die if he was to be the one in charge. At least when they still were children. Like with the coin, the only reminder of their parents. Alice told him to keep it safe yet he didn't. The other boys found it and… that's how he got his scar. It was his fault entirely, he knew it. As was this mess.

They were sent by the Shepherd herself to steal some microchip. Who knew what was it good for, Ian didn't care. The only thing that mattered was getting the chip to Sandstorm.

They infiltrated the facility as the cleaners, did some work done there so nobody would suspect anything. And then they waited. They waited for hours yet it felt like days. And he got impatient. Alice told him several times to keep calm and he tried! He really did. But in the end with one idiotic move he blew their cover and all the hell got loose. They were caught in the crossfire, he and Alice. She was faster, better and had the bigger chance getting out of here. So he did whatever he could to help her, killing many men while opening himself to get shot. But as long as she had her chance to leave it didn't matter, not to him.

"On your nine!" he yelled at his sister because unlike her he didn't have a clean shot at the man who could easily kill her.

In the moment she laid her eyes on that man, he was literally dead to the world. Alice looked at her brother. _For Christ sake!_ They were trained to prevent these situations! To be able to do missions silently.

"Fuck," she cursed under her nose. "We need to get out of here. So move!" Her tone didn't leave a place for an argument. She was pissed - really pissed - and in hurry. Just a few more minutes and whole place would've been full of cops or agents or jerks of this sort.

She didn't have to tell him twice, he was already doing his best. But he wasn't her, she was faster, stronger… better. He pointed his gun on another man's forehead and pulled the trigger. It was strange feeling, knowing someone else's life just vanished because of him. But there was no time for thinking like this. With another loud shot Ian killed a guard who just came from behind the corner.

"How many more are still there?!" He was frustrated, the building was supposed to be almost empty. Now it looked like every single guard was there. And that was definitely a bad sign.

"And it will be much more worse if we stay here longer than necessary." For the first time she looked at her brother and bothered to answer directly. "You need to learn patience or else I will leave you in our headquarters and you won't be able to do missions for a very long time!" Alice let the disappointment fill her voice and then she sighed. "Try stairs. There shouldn't be many more guards."

"I… am… patient," he muttered through his gritted teeth and kicked the doors to open it. Quickly checking for the enemies with his gun he found there should be no one in there. At least not for now? "Clear!" He called at his sister, making sure the guards won't be able to surprise them. There was no time for mistakes now. Alice wasn't kidding, if she told Shepherd it would not only mean having to sit next few missions, it could mean his end in Sandstorm itself. And that was something he wouldn't let happen. Sandstorm was like a family to him, the only one he ever had and knew. Except for Alice, of course. But that was different.

His sister passed him, gun pointed straight ahead.

"You're everything but patient. End of discussion. We have to go." And then she was running down the stairs to get them out of bulding as soon as possible. She didn't want to argue with him - she was merely saying the facts. It wasn't her problem if he didn't like it but somebody had to tell him. Better her than Shepherd, right?

The path was clear. All the way down. That was odd and Ian got the feeling something was wrong. Unfortunately he was right, they walked right into trap. Surprisingly. What was the saying he was told on his very first mission? When it looks like you're in favour and everything goes your way, it's gotta be nasty. And so it was.

"Dammit!" He cursed as they got to heavy locked and even more guarded door. This was going to be ugly, more than he would like. One short glimpse on Alice told him she was going to finish their mission whatever costs. That was the only right attitude, he knew it. But he had to learn it yet.

The more people he shot, the more came. It was so unbelievable! And to his frustration he forgot to count. "Fuck!" Nothing else needed to be said, there were no more bullets. Instead of shooting Ian used his gun to hit one guard's head. It worked but wasn't as effective as shooting itself. He needed couple of seconds to recharge. He needed his sister to help him. Again. "I'm out!" He shouted at her.

Alice let out frustrated sigh. This was the worst mission ever! From her spot she shot two more guards as her brother was recharging his guns. It didn't bother her shooting more people, but much worse was the fact they were going to split. And she was the one closer to exit. _Fuck_.

"Get closer to me!"

"Easier said than done," Ian muttered and kicked the guard in his knee. It worked for he heard a sound of bone being broken and the man screamed in pain. He still didn't have time to recharge, there were too many men coming at him so he had to fight his way through. How could this get so wrong?

Punching another two guards he did get closer to her. But he also found himself surrounded by the guards with no way out. His fist met one's jaw, another one's temple and with a smirk he kicked the third one's balls.

Alice on the other side was saving her bullets for worse time or for their escape. She saw Ian surrounded by guards, he was trying to get to her, but there were more and more men between them. And she had to look after her own life too. One of those jerks tried to get her on her knees, but one well aimed elbow into his stomach and he was on the ground. Still, they were slowly pushing her from her brother. She didn't like it but they had to take that chip to mother.

Door behind her has opened and somebody kicked her through that space.

"IAN!" She fought hard to let them open but one of men heard her and started searching for a control panel. She was running out of time. One last look at her brother and then those fucking doors started to slowly close.

He heard her call and then she was away leaving him behind. It was one thing to know they could split or she might have left him. But her actually doing so was something completely different. Despite all his efforts to prepare for a situation like that it was still a huge shock for him. And it hurt. A lot.

He didn't blame her. Couldn't. It was his fault, he was the one who killed that woman and was reckless enough to have it on video. How could he screw it up so badly?!

There was no way out, no turning back, no possible exit. The only thing he could do was fight and take as many men down with him as possible. And he fought. He fought hard. Like a lion while… no, more like an antelope surrounded by lions. Knowing the death was coming but not going to give up. Never.

As he turned to punch another guard he felt terrible pain in his neck, as if he got struck by lighting. He didn't see the man who tasered him, everything darkened as he lost his consciousness.

 

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ There was no one with her. She heard screams from the room she was kicked out a few minutes ago. Shit. She had to get out of there to safe. She couldn't help Ian, there were too many men and he was probably already down with broken neck or tasered.

_Can't afford to lose more time, Alice._ She just squeezed her gun more aggressively then turned around and ran.

She left her brother there but knew no one will blame her. They were soldiers, weren't they? And soldiers have been sacrificing every minute around the world. He was just one of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


	2. We might be friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maaaan, have you ever looked into the mirror?" Ian asked completely seriously.
> 
> "Yeah, really funny, man." It wasn't so funny after all. John punched him in the face.
> 
> "No, man, I mean it. There's something seriously wrong with your face. It looks like one… big… no, huge pimple right between your… oh, sorry, it's your nose. My bad. You should have someone looked at it before it gets worse!"

When he woke up he was somewhere in dark, looked like an old warehouse. And smelled after rotten fish. Or whatever it was. Ian fought the urge to throw up. His neck was itching and aching at the same time, his stomach hurt as if someone had been punching him and there was blood all over his face. He wanted to wipe it but realized his hands were tied up above his head. With chains.

"Bloody hell!" He muttered and swallowed. Even this was unpleasant for his throat was dry. At least he wasn't scared. Not yet. Trying to remember what happened was pointless for his memories ended when they tasered him. They must have had brought him here and probably tried to wake him up with all those punches and cuts. He was standing in the middle of the room, no table with any tool to help him get out of there nearby. Nothing. "Don't lose it now," he told himself after he got to the conclusion that there was absolutely no chance to escape. They even took his clothes off. At least they let him his underwear.

There was that quiet sound and then the door opened, three heavy armed guards coming in. "If I knew there's gonna be welcoming party I'd wear proper clothes," he smirked at them. It couldn't be any worse. Or could it?

"Oh, hello there. Quite funny, aren't you? I didn't have somebody like you here since… can't remember." John smiled at him sweetly, speaking to him in calming tone… Too bad Ian was tied up. "My name is John Smith and my superiors want answers and results," he started to walk around Ian in small circles, " _so_ , we will have so much fun together - when you're so funny person, don't you think?"The man in front of him was well trained, he could see that. Ripped muscles, cold eyes that were searching for exits, weaknesses of his men. He could be a sniper, a soldier or a mercenary. John didn't know which one but knew the tied up man was one of those words. He just needed to find out.

"Sorry to bring this to you but… you're not really my type. No offense, I'm sure you'll find the right one for you one day," despite knowing he would be punched for that Ian couldn't stop himself from saying so. He just like making fun of people. The more dangerous the better. And this man, John, was the perfect target.

He spat out blood feeling grateful it was just blood and no teeth. He wouldn't like that. Well he didn't like being tied up almost naked either. "Alright, we might be FRIENDS if you want that so hard but nothing more, you know…" his lips formed into that mischievous smirk before another fist met his jaw. "Ouch, I guess no friends in the end. Your loss."

"Well, you can't blame me, I tried to be nice. Bring it to me!" he shouted at his men, one of them holding a syringe with crystal clear stuff. "Give it to him." John realized his mistake the moment the man started walking to their prisoner. He got head-butted, blood pouring from his broken nose immediately. The room was beginning to fill with muffled moans."Not like that, you idiot!" He took the syringe from him, moved behind Ian and grabbed him by his hair. "This might sting a little," and with that whole needle disappeared in prisoner's neck.

"Uh oh, mistake number one. If you want to find the right partner you can't just get him by poison. Who are you, some kind of savage?" Ian asked. He had to close his eyes for a second because the room shook and then became to blur. What was in that thing? He was only glad there was nothing like the serum of truth. It wasn't. Surely not. Or was it?

As his body became numb he started to get all those crazy ideas. Like his sister playing trumpet. He imagined her getting red from having to take those deep breaths and…

His laughter became almost hysterical. "I don't know what THIS is but it's definitely great."

"Well, because you obviously don't have a name, your prints told us nothing, you look like human being but you don't exist so I can give you this mix of drugs. To interrogate you. What funny do you tell me now?" He was watching his eyes, his dilated pupils… Just a little more time.

"Maaaan, have you ever looked into the mirror?" Ian asked completely seriously.

"Yeah, really funny, man." It wasn't so funny after all. John punched him in the face.

"No, man, I mean it. There's something seriously wrong with your face. It looks like one… big… no, huge pimple right between your… oh, sorry, it's your nose. My bad. You should have someone looked at it before it gets worse!"

 

And like this it was going for a few days already. John drugged him, punched him a few times - first it was just face a then the rest of his body. There were some insults, some really good jokes - if they weren't in that situation, he would have laughed. So he ended up covering prisoner's body with more hits which led to more and more bruises.

"You look like a fucking palette," John smirked at him.

It was really dead end. Drugs weren't working, if he wasn't going to kill that man of course, he partly broke some of his ribs and that idiot still had some jokes to tell! Ubeliavable. So one day it hit him. He couldn't break him physically, _so let's break him psychologically._ He couldn't believe he didn't figure it out before.

"I'm not gonna hit you today BUT! I was wondering, who was that woman with you." He purposely made a frown like _I-am-really-interested_. But all he wanted was an attention of his prisoner. "You know, I've been going through those records and found something interesting." John took a few steps to Ian, a tablet in his hands. Ian could see a record where was his sister when they got separated. _Slowly closing doors. She was just looking at them for a few seconds and then left without a second look._ "You are not probably important when she didn't try to rescue you and left so calmly."

It needed a lot of self-control not to show any expression. Ever since he got caught he kept thinking of Alice, his beautiful sister. Did she get out? Did she give Shepherd that damn microchip? Did they already bury him, told a few sentences by the fire? They were always together with Alice, in the orphanage, during all those fucking experiments… in Sandstorm. If she wasn't there with him on that mission, if she didn't see him fail… he knew she would do anything to get him back. Even if it meant setting everything and everyone on fire. But he disappointed her. In a very bad way. And he knew what she did to people who were… disappointing.

"Obviously not your mother," he told John with a smirk. He could barely see for his eyes were heavily bruised. His whole body was and it ached even more. From all that beating he got actually three fingers broken, two ribs partially broken and his nose was broken on three parts. Unimaginable? Yes. Impossible? No. And yet Ian could be proud of himself because all this time and he never said anything usefull. Of course he dropped some things. Like that he was CIA and that his colleagues were coming for him. At first he thought some of the guards believed that because the shiver clearly ran down their spines but then they somehow found out he was lying and for that he got the worst beating.

"Shame it's such shitty quality," sighed John. "But I think I can guess now. What about some colleague?" He looked at Ian's face. "Nope, not colleague. Those are from work. Maybe a former lover?"

"Eww… Seriously man?! I thought you knew me better. Former lover? Her? You know I have that crazy crush on blondie over there," he pointed his head towards one of the guards who was actually strong woman with sharp features and cold look. She wasn't really pretty and looked more like a man than woman. Ian always joked when she was nearby and she punched him. Once she even cut his leg and next time she threatened him to cut off his manhood if he kept talking. It worked for he shut up until she left the room.

John looked over his shoulder. That one, huh? Funny.

"My bad. Then maybe she's a family. How about that?" He played the record for himself. "She didn't even flinch when she was walking away. Wow! What a strong woman! She just left behind her partner. Man, you really had to piss her off."

"Looks like I was very bad boy," Ian said with a tone people use when talking to children. "I must have been really bad boy. Probably like you?" he hoped John stopped talking about his sister because it hurt. Despite the knowledge that she did the right thing there was still that part of his heart that hurt like hell whenever he remembered she left him there to die. But that was Alice. Or Remi, as she called herself now. He never really liked that, never really understood why they had to choose new names. Remi and Roman, as Remus and Romulus from the ancient Roman mythology.

John was still looking at display. The woman looked young, in a good shape.

"A sibling fight? Oooh, quite a bad place for that, huh? Think if she killed you it would be better. But you weren't worthy even for that, were you? Because killing someone you love is an act of mercy. You don't want them to suffer anymore so you end it." With a wave of a hand he sent his people away. Now it was just about the two of them.

Ian swallowed, this wasn't good. Whatever he said, however he tried to keep it cool… it just didn't work.

"So first she's my lover and now she's my sibling? Oh come on, you pervert! Looks like we can't be friends at all," he spat and laughed which he regretted immediately for the pain that ran through his body was almost unbearable. He was right, if Alice killed him he wouldn't be here now. But she didn't. Not because she wanted him to suffer but because she believed he would find a way out. And that's what he had to do. If only there was a way…

"Well, everybody makes mistakes. Obviously you made one too or else you wouldn't be here." Smith just smiled at him. It wasn't a nice smile - not that one that reach your eyes. "So what's your big mistake? Being a bad brother?"

"And here I thought I'm here because I'm genius! Guess I was wrong…," Ian sighed. It was getting cold in the room which meant the sundown was here. As he spent there few days already he had some knowledge about time. Not because of the temperature itself but sometimes during the punching he could see someone's watch and that helped him. If they were following their schedule John was about to leave soon. Then he could have his chance to escape. If there was any. Which wasn't. Probably.

He realized that Alice would have been already out of there. She was always much better than him. She was born for this way of life, he wasn't. Well, if he screwed it tonight it won't matter anyway.

"I almost feel sorry for you 'cause nobody's gonna get you." With that he just left. Slowly and didn't look back. "Just think about it, soldier."

"Guess you're still coming, mate," he called after him and waited. Waited for ten minutes, twenty, an hour until he decided it was time. Gritting his teeth he dislocated his thumb which helped him to get his hand from the chain. It hurt but not as much as he expected it to. Taking a deep breath he did the same thing with his second hand. He knew the risks, if he moved it back in a wrong way his hands could stay kinda crippled forever. He would never be able to use the gun again, maybe not even punch someone. But he had to try.

With quiet _loop_ the bones went back to where they belonged. His head was spinning and he had to close his eyes for a while. So he started to countdown. Ten. Nine. Eight. It helped him to calm down and so when he opened his eyes everything was normal again. Three. Two. One. It was time to go. Ian was surprised how easily the door opened, could that be a trap? Just a trick to see whether he'd try to escape? He didn't care. He quickly peeked to the corrider and after he saw no one there he followed the light. Right behind the corner there were three guards. Usually that would mean no problem at all but now he couldn't be sure. He didn't really eat or drink. Yeah, they gave him a slice of bread a day and three cups of water but that was all. Of course there was a time in his life where this was considered a luxoury but now…let’s say he felt a little bit spoiled with nowadays food.

"…and then she said…," one guard started but never got to finish that sentence. Since they were standing with their backs to Ian he had the only chance to do something. And he used it. Used it to get closer to them and with a single movement he broke the guard's neck. Of course it took the guards by surprise which gave him time to take the dead man's knife and slit throat of the second one. The last one fought him but Ian was the one with nothing to lose so in the end he stabbed the man in his chest, not caring that the blood splashed his face.

To blend in easily he put on one guard's clothes. It was only a matter of time until someone found the three men dead and so he sat them on fire. Not that this would cover his tracks, he just wanted this place to burn. And if he was about to die here, it was under his own conditions.

Now when he was armed the game turned. He still was outnumbered but unlike the other people he was well trained. And he had a goal. He wanted to get back to his sister. He wanted to tell her:" _I did it, I survived!_ " What did he have to lose?

All his way out he wished he met that bastard John Smith so they could settle their accounts. But he didn't. Driven by his frustration and devotion he killed everyone in the warehouse. At least everyone he met. Now he had to find his way home.

Walking through the city at night dressed like a SWAT member wasn't exactly the best idea so once he got to residential district he looked around to see if someone had his clothes outside. It was the end of summer so the nights were still pretty warm.

After almost twenty minutes when he started to feel desperate he found it! There was a small house with water pump on its front garden so he used it to wash himself and then stole the clothes. Just some old trousers and t-shirt which was two sizes small but it was better than nothing. He kept the guard's shoes though. Now the question was what to do with the uniform? Throwing it into bin was off record, if someone found it there would be much trouble. And in the end it could lead to him. The river was twenty minutes of walk the opposite side, nothing he wanted to experience. He could burn it or throw it into sewer. The fire could be conspicious yet more effective. He had to think fast.

He already found the lighter in one pocket of the uniform, the guard was probably smoker. Or arsonist. For some reason Ian found that thought funny but he was too tired to laugh. So he just smirked. He looked on the ground until he found it - the sewer cover which could be easily opened. A light smile crossed his face as he set the clothes on fire and threw it in. Then he just walked away.

He was halfway through the district when the car appeared. The driver drove much faster than he was supposed to and wasn't really paying attention. And since he came from behind the corner Ian didn't have time to react so the car hit him. He couldn't believe it! He got out of that place only to be killed by some stupid car? His last thought went to his sister before he lost his consciousness and his body fell on the ground.

 

Kurt Weller just panicked. Like some fifteen year old girl, although he did call an ambulance. And then the freakin' police showed up! _Shit, Mayfair's gonna do ballistics on me for this._ So for now he was just watching how the medics were checking that man.

"Did you drink something?"

"Yeah, water."

"Funny."

"Yeah, I know. And you know it's not necessary to ask me those questions. I work for FBI. See this?"

"And you think that's a reason I'll let you drive away from an accident?"

"I didn't say that! Look, man, I'm not drunk, I don't do drugs so let me just get in car and we'll see each other in like… twenty minutes in the hospital?"

"Fine, I'm right behind you, agent." The way the officer said it, it sounded like an insult. But Weller let that be. Wasn't in mood for bitching around let alone the fact of admitting it was his fault. _Crap._

That unpleasant sound of the ambulance was more than Ian's ears could bear. His whole body hurt, no wonder after all he'd been through, and if the sound got any louder his head would explode. Literally.

"What happened?" he asked faintly. Yeah, what the hell happened? He was just walking. But where?

"What's your name, sir?" the medic asked him and checked his pupils.

"Ian." nobody called him that name. Except for Alice. For everybody else he was Roman. At least he remembered who he was.

"Good, Ian. You were hit by a car, can you remember that?" the medic asked again and Ian fought the urge to squeeze his neck until the man would breathe his last breath. Who was he to ask him all those questions? What did he want to find out?

"No, I… I don't. I remember lying… on the beach. I train to be professional diver, you know. Can keep my breath and dive into forty metres now. Where did the car hit me? And where are we going? I mean which hospital? The Central?"

"Yes, The Central Hospital," was the answer but Ian fainted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


	3. He's not coming back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice was looking at him, wondering which color wasn't on him - but he lived and got out of there. Man that was lying in front of her wasn't her little brother anymore. He didn't need protection.
> 
> "You don't need me, brother." It was the truth. They were always together - maybe it was time to go separate ways.

She was listening to police radios every night sice Remi came back. Simply didn't believe Roman was dead. Captured? Surely, but not dead. Everybody told her: " _Lavinia, let it go. He's not coming back._ " How could they say that? He was one of them and one of the best at the top! So she was listening. Every. Fucking. Night. And it paid.

" _…-man. Severaly in…red. No ID, tall, light hair. He says his name's Ian._ "

"FUCK!" She grabbed her jacket and hurried out of their quarters. Somebody had to take him home. She didn't even bother to say something to anyone - this "mission" would be denied before she could even say A.

 

During the way to the hospital Ian woke up and fainted again once more. It wasn't that surprising given the fact that he was completely exhausted. The adrenalin that drove him through his escape ran out and now he felt as the little boy, so vulnerable and week. As he was the day he got his scar.

Just thinking about it made him upset and angry as well. He should get his shit together for there were more important things to do. He had to come with a plan to get out of there and find his sister. But where should he start? Ever since his capture the headquarters probably moved away, it was just standard protocol in case someone talked. The whole operation was more important than anyone, they all were replacable. He knew it now very well.

When they finally arrived he realized that he might have been lucky again, which was weird. The hospital was crowded despite it was almost midnight already. From the people talking he heard that there was some gun attack on the theatre and many people were hit, badly injured or dead. So when the doctor quickly checked him and said he wasn't in mortal danger Ian had to wait. If only there weren't all those people watching him. He needed distraction. And he needed it now.

 

Getting into hospital wasn't a problem. Too many people. So she just blended in, got into laundry room and took some clothes for her. The easiest way to kidnap someone, right? So she just needed a wheelchair for him and she could consider everything done.

Geez, moving through that corridors wasn't easy. So many injured people, doctors were trying to send her to other patiens and random people she was passingaround, their husbands, wifes, children.

Just as it looked like he'd be probably the next the alarm started and Ian could hear the doctors screaming:"Code blue, code blue!" Someone just probably died. Or was about to. He didn't care. Thanks to all the panic that happened it was the best time to disappear. All he needed was… No, this couldn't be happening! Of all the possible time the nurse was coming for him now? Just why? He was ready to argue that there were another people who needed her help more than him. But since screaming at her would make unnecessary drama, he had to wait for her to come closer.

"Hello, I'm gonna take you to some examination and if you're okay, you can go home after," Lavinia said to him, not letting him to say a word. "I will help you into the chair, okay? Just take it easy." Until now it was easy. Until now nobody stopped her to ask her if she really worked there, so probably this plan wasn't so bad.

As she spoke Ian's eyes sparkled because he knew her. He was filled with gratitude but he would never let anyone see it.

"Sure Lav," he pronounced it as _luv_ , "as you wish," he smirked at her and sat into the wheelchair. She probably had much better plan than him which wouldn't be that hard since he had none. He could only hope she wasn't here to kill him. No, she wouldn't. She surely wouldn't.

She slowly manoeuvred him out of hospital, calmly passing all the people, got him into a car and drove away. After a kilometer or two she realized she was holding her breath.

"I am so fucking glad to see you! Everyone's been talking about you like you were dead! No one knows what happened. Shit, Shepherd's gonna kill me." She was babbling, she knew it but couldn't help herself.

Of course Shepherd didn't know. He wasn't surprised, not really. Lavinia was known for having troubles with following orders. That's why they were never sent on the mission together.

"How did you find me?" he asked and closed his eyes for a second as another pain from his ribs hit him. He needed some painkillers and rest for a few days. No, he actually needed to sleep through next few days. And eat. And not to get in any troubles. Easier said than done.

"Well, I was listening to police radio." She had to admit it didn't sound very good or promising. "Well, at least I tried to do something. For everyone else you were a corpse. And don't get me wrong but your sister's a bitch. She didn't even try to convince Shepherd to rescue you." Lavinia didn't even realize she said such thing. She was concentrating on the road.

"I deserved that. I guess," Ian sighed. "But thanks. For not giving up on me," that was all he was going to say. Shepherd was the one he should talk to first because she was the head of Sandstorm. And she was the one to decide whether he could stay or… he only hoped she wouldn't kick him out. It depended on what Alice told her. Did she tell her how badly he screwed up? Probably. Ian would never admit it loud but deep inside he feared the consequences.

 

The message spread really quickly. Alice was in her room when she heard footsteps from the hallway and excited calls:" _Roman!_ " But no, she didn't go down there, didn't go inform their mother and leader. She didn't even go to see for herself it was really him.

Lavinia was down there probably and they didn't get along too well - so no. She would stay in her room, looking from a window into a trees remembering how they used to climb them, fell from weak branches and then watching a moon rose with those shiny stars.

 

During his long and very detailed conversation with Shepherd Ian realized that his sister kept the details to herself which filled him with huge gratitude. She wouldn't do that for everyone and he was damn sure she wouldn't do it again. But this little thing made him adore her even more. He wanted to go and thank her immediately but was forbidden to. Shepherd told him that Alice had another mission going on in the morning so she needed to rest. Ian agreed even though he didn't want to but he couldn't afford another mistake so he just went to his room where Lavinia, probably, brought him something to eat. There was something about that girl. He just couldn't decide whether it was good or weird.

 

Alice waited for the night to fall and then sneaked to her brother's room. Only wanted to know how he was looking and doing. She was counting on fact he'll be sleeping. But Lavinia, sleeping in a chair by his bed, was an unpleasant suprise. She almost groaned loudly. Fucking Lavinia. She wanted to turn around immediately and go back. If Lavinia was there… he was safe. God! That girl annoyed her so much!

"Alice…," Ian whispered from his sleep. Once he got his injuries taken care of and went to bed he fell asleep immediately. It was pleasant surprise to find out that the car didn't really do any serious damage, only one rib broke and his wrist was swollen but nothing worse. It was luck in badluck, he knew it.

He had no idea that Lavinia came to check on him after he fell asleep, nor did he know she stayed there. And he wouldn't even know why. They weren't friends or anything. Besides there was this tension between her and Alice and Ian was loyal to his sister, no matter what. He didn't know why, never asked. Never cared. Maybe it was because Lavinia was protégé of Clark, one of Sandstorm's senior founders so she got away with everything. Who knew.

Alice was looking at him, wondering which color wasn't on him - but he lived and got out of there. Man that was lying in front of her wasn't her little brother anymore. He didn't need protection.

"You don't need me, brother." It was the truth. They were always together - maybe it was time to go separate ways.

 

When Ian finally woke up it was already afternoon. He felt a little bit better but his condition still required resting. Even Shepherd told him so and that meant something! Usually they all were given a day or two to get ready but this time… he realized that Shepherd probably didn't trust him yet so it was better for him to sit. At least he couldn't do any more damage.

Since Alice left with the first rays of sun there wasn't much he would like to do so he just took his sketchbook and went to sit outside under the big tree. There he was hidden from everyone's sight and he could pretend he was someone else somewhere else with somebody else. Having his mind occupied with not-really-thinking he started to draw.

It was already dark outside when he went to get some sleep. If he missed anything while being captured it was his bed. Right now he didn't need anything else. Maybe he could think of some things… but no. He was… not really happy but… he couldn't find the right word to describe.

As he shifted with his pillow something fell on the ground, making quiet _clink_. Ian immediately looked under the bed where the object fell only to find a coin lying there. Not just some coin, THAT coin, the only thing they've got from their parents. When they were children they took turns in protecting it but now it was in Alice's possession. It looked like she missed him at all. His eyes filled with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


	4. Glad to see you looking so well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lavinia's been helping me," he admitted. It was time for Alice to stop acting like a child whenever it came to Lavinia. "She's not that bad. And…," he started but rather stopped for it might sound as some kind of accusation which he didn't plan to. "Never mind."
> 
> She thought she laughed. What actually came out of her mouth was something more like chuckle. And not nice one.

Alice wasn't happy. " _Infiltration_ " has been successful but still, she didn't like it. This big base of their so-called ally didn't look good. She trusted her instincts and they were telling her that this will be another ugly mission. She had to make sure that this ally was still their ally and they weren't selling informations and guns to somebody else. And if it turned out they betrayed, Alice had a permission to kill them. Right now everyone could say that Sandstorm was getting friendly and was paying a friendly visit. _Friendly-visit my ass._

The meeting was arranged at two p.m. tomorrow, so she had plenty of time… to hack their systems and get out of them as much information as possible.

 

Maria Parrish was successful lawyer working for three big and important companies. She could consider herself lucky for she accomplished great things before she reached thirty. But there are always things people desire and when you have everything you can wish for you start to seek impossible things. As she did. That's why she secretly worked with Sandstorm. It all started when she found out about her husband's mistress, it destroyed her world and she wanted to do impossible things to him, she wanted him to suffer. And somehow he did. She didn't know the details and didn't even want to know. The only thing that mattered to her was that justice has been done.

It all became quiet and she hadn't heard from Sandstorm for almost two years. That changed recently when she got a call from someone inside. Maria didn't ask for details, that's why she was so perfect for these things. If she got caught she couldn't say a word because there was nothing she could actually say.

Right now she used her lunchtime to walk the park and find that woman she was supposed to meet. It should have looked like a coincidence, that's why the park was a good place.

There was a woman matching the description sitting on a bench. Maria smiled and sat next to her.

"Such a lovely day, right? Yet I heard it's gonna rain." This was the phrase she was supposed to use. If the woman answered:" _That's why I took an umbrella,_ " it was her. But if she didn't… Maria did not want to think of that.

 

Alice was there on time. In that little park but it was empty. No one between trees, no one sitting on benches. Shit. Nobody was either walking a dog and that was really strange. Despite all the facts that were screaming at her " _Get out of here_ ", she sat on a bench and decided to wait a bit longer. She was looking around herself, but whole time she didn't see a soul.

After an hour she gave up and wanted to call a Shepherd but… She couldn't. What if there was someone nearby? She couldn't risk this. No calls.

 

After her little chitchat Maria went to hotel Sundown where her contact was accommodated. She had whole afternoon to wait and this was an important thing to do. It had to be done and it had to be done by her personally. Was she nervous? Yes. Scared? As hell. But she knew what she was signing up to so there was no backing off now. And so she sat there in the foyer reading some magazine and glimpsing every now and then when a woman went around her.

Finally when Maria thought she wouldn't even come, the woman came in. Maria watched through the corner of her eye and when the woman was finally close she used the phrase she was supposed to.

"Glad to see you looking so well." It was idiotic thing to say but who was her to judge? The answer she waited for was:" _Thanks, that's why I'm on vacation now._ " After that there was another password. " _Did you go to the beach?_ " Which answer was:" _Thanks but I prefer mountains._ " They were using double passwords in case someone overheard a part.

The woman that stood before her was very nervous. Alice didn't understand why. This was the easiest part! She just had to give her some information and it vas over.

"Thanks, that's why I'm on vacation now." She said. The woman just smiled at her, but didn't continue in the password. _Don't tell me she's the wrong one!_

Maria was watching her closely, so many things could go wrong right now! For a second she hated herself for agreeing and wanted to run away as far as possible but in the end she continued her password. When she got even the second part correct she was obviously relieved.

"You know," she made a step closer to the dark haired woman in front of her, "I was surprised when Emma called me. Even more when she told me that you asked for me specifically! Last time I've got a feeling that," she risked a lot when she leaned closer to her and touched her hair while placing her lips to the woman's ear, "you weren't satisfied with my… service," she whispered.

Oh. My. God! She was so certain that she was the one. Mistake, but it was easy to undo this.

"I am so sorry I thought you were someone else!" Alice smiled at her so sweet it almost made her stomach threw up. These situations were the worst. You just had to play along or do a total idiot from yourself and because she didn't want to get involved with this woman at any kind of level, she just had to excuse herself.

As Maria watched her leave towards the elevator a few fast shots were fired. One probably hit Alice, one hit Maria killing her immediately and the last three also got their victims. Either injuring or killing them. It was a trap.

Alice was lucky she fell through opening door of the elevator which was empty. She crawled to the control panel and pressed the _close_ button. Until its door closed, she stayed on the floor. She was really pissed now. Contact was dead, now she was certain that woman was the one. So nobody confirmed their suspicion about an ally not being an ally - right, this situation was shitty and telling something was really off but Alice wouldn't know who's responsible for sure. Was it that dead woman? Or someone inside the base? Or someone of them?

 _Crap,_ she finally stood up, still hearing screams from hallway, she went to her room, just for a few things and was ready to leave this hotel. When she reached for the knob with her left hand, she groaned. One of those bullets hit her?! And it seemed it stayed inside her arm, so it wasn't bleeding so fucking much. Well, nice.

"You have to hold on, Alice. You will take care of it later." Finding something she could use as bandage was matter of seconds - she ripped one of her shirts and wrapped the leather around her arm.Now all she had to do was to go all the way back to headquarters.

All hell broke loose in the hallway. People were screaming, running and there was complete chaos. Some people needed medical help from the shooting, the others got hurt because of the panic itself. Nobody knew what happened or what was going to happen next but everybody wanted to get to safety.

Maria Parrish was lying dead in the middle of the room in the pool of her own blood. She wouldn't expect such ending. But the shooter had different plans for her.

Alice just looked around. Couldn't went through main entrance so she took the _Staff only_. Once she got out, she found her car and slowly drove away. The sniper was probably already gone, thinking he got both of them. That was lucky. Now it was just her and a few hours back to Sandstorm. Shit, that arm really hurt.

 

During the week that his sister was away on her super secret mission Ian got much better. Of course the broken bones didn't have time to heal but his bruises were gone and he was able to start with his training again. To his surprise Lavinia proved to be great ally, maybe a friend. He still didn't trust her enough to share with her his personal things but they spent plenty of time together these days and she helped him to get through his failure. When he was with her his self-confidence rose again and so did his gift for organising things. He helped Shepherd to plan some smaller missions which was a way to earn her trust again. Ian was glad for this opportunity and was decided not to fail her.

It was raining today so he went to the library where he took a few books. There was this game they played with Lavinia, they left coded messages in the books. They changed them every day so nobody else would find out. It was their way to help each other get better and Ian had to admit it was real fun. They took the key book and circled a few letters that pointed to words. First one was meant for chapter. If it was second letter it meant second chapter. Spaces didn't count. The second letter was for the page. This time it depended on the row so when it was in fifth row it meant fifth page of the chapter. The third letter was in column and it told in which row the word they searched for was. It didn't really make sense but who cared.

Ian couldn't help it but smiled as he decrypted her message. It simply said:" _Dinner tonight?_ " He quickly erased all the markings and put the books back to shelves. As he left the library he gave her a short nod.

 

After six hours of driving Alice was exhausted. Her arm was like burning hell again and she tried to let it rest for most time of her drive. It was like every cell in her arm was screaming, from time to time she even felt how blood was pouring from the wound but it didn't get anywhere because of the leather.

When she finally saw the building of their headquarters relief overwhelmed her. She quickly got out of car and with swift steps entered the building. She had to see Shepherd right now!

Ian was waiting for Lavinia under the stairs as it happened to be their meeting place. She was obviously cooking the dinner herself, that's why she asked him. To his surprise he found out he was already looking forward to trying her skills. And spend another time with her. In the end she was very attractive with her green eyes and red hair. Alice sometimes called her " _that freckled bitch_ " but Ian thought she looked cute.

No, hell, what was happening to him? He shook his head and scratched his scar, it was itching some times. Mostly when the weather changed.

When he heard footsteps he turned to see who came in.

 

Alice heard voices from the hall. Male and a female. They were laughing at something. As she got further she started to recognize them. The male was her brother… With that problematic bitch. Alice clenched her hands into fists and rolled her eyes. Fists were bad idea, left arm felt like it's going to bleed out. Not her brightest moment and she had to pass them. Urgh. She checked one more time her arm - blood didn't drip on the floor so it was good.

"…and then puff… He exploded. Just like that," Ian was telling her a story from his past. It was quite funny in a way. Especially since you know he was talking about his experiments on watermelon. "But that's not the end. I mean Remi, she…," he didn't get to tell the rest because his sister just came to the hall. What a timing! "Oh, hi!" He smiled at her. He was in a great mood for he usually didn't smile.

The sight of them together rather caught her off guard. When did this all happened? When did they become so close?

"Hello." Cold answer, cold tone but couldn't help herself. _Get away from my brother, bitch_. Of course she didn't say that aloud. "Well, go on with your story. I have to go." Not really a good way to welcome own brother but she didn't care. He didn't need her anymore and she needed to see their mother.

Well that was unexpected. Was she still mad at him? When he found the coin he thought she forgave him for screwing up but now it looked otherwise. Or was it because of Lavinia?Ian swallowed the sigh and with a simple shrug he turned back to the girl he was talking to.

"Shall we go?" he asked her.

 

Conversation with Shepherd was exhausting and very long. Both of them were angry and trying to find out who was the rat. Alice described whole time she spent there, every detail, every suspicious action but still they couldn't find out. Shepherd wasn't exactly happy to hear about that situation however she believed her daughter. The positive thing about all of this was Alice's responsibility - ability to take thing seriously. So when she gave her the flash disc with downloaded datas, she smiled.

"Very good. You can rest now. And Remi? It's good to have you back."So Alice left to go to her room. Arm was killing her, she wanted to take care of it. Funny thing was that suddenly even removing her jacket was the hardest thing. The wound was pulsing and became very sensitive.

 

Even though the dinner was delicious Ian couldn't stop thinking of his sister and he decided to go and talk to her. Fortunately Lavinia didn't mind, or at least she didn't say so and he could leave right after the dinner. Whole walk felt like an eternity and to be honest he was afraid what he might learn. But when he stood in front of Alice's door he took a deep breath and knocked.

"One moment," she heard her own voice or… was it really her voice? _Fuck, are you stupid Alice? How are you supposed to cover that injury?!_ Especially the color of her left hand.

"Fuck," she breathed under her nose. The leather was soaking with blood.

"It's just me," he said from the other side of the door and waited for her angry face to yell at him and send him to hell. Or wherever else. Maybe now when he was alone she didn't have to be angry with him. Or maybe she wasn't angry with him at all, maybe the mission went bad itself. So many thoughts crossed his mind as he was waiting.

Well, that was bad.

"Ian… I can't right now." Screw it, she needed to take care of her arm. Her temporary bandage ended up on the floor with smacking sound. "Great, I need to take out that bullet."

He didn't hesitate and went in immediately. That sight shocked him for he still wasn't used to seeing his sister injured.

"What happened?" He asked as he went closer to her to see the injury.

"Nothing. It's… nothing. Just a scratch." Phew, it was more than just a scratch and she knew it. Her brother knew it too. "So, what do you need?" Alice took out from her desk the first-aid kit and started to observe the wound. Just how deep the bullet went - acting like she wasn't injured at all.

"Sit down!" He ordered despite knowing she wouldn't. She was the one in charge and she never asked for help. Even though it would make things easier.

"Fine." That was all she said and sit on the chair. Her back to him, exposing injured arm. "Satisfied?" She heard him move closer to her. "He meant to kill me, I fell through opening door into elevator, stayed on the ground… That bullet's been there for quite time now."

"I'm gonna kill him for that!" He muttered through his gritted teeth as he inspected the wound. "It's gonna hurt, wanna bite something? Something else than my hand," he tried to joke but he was worried. Removing the bullet itself wasn't that hard but he feared it might got infected or something.

"No. I think I can handle a few more minutes. So, what did you need? Gonna tell me already?" Just a little distraction so she wouldn't concetrate on that pain so much.

"We didn't have time to talk since I came back," he started in a neutral way, "thanks for not saying what happened." He cleaned her wound with disinfection, took the medical pair of tweezers and used it to search for the bullet. It took him almost a minute because it was deep and stuck but he got it out. Then he stitched it the best way he could.

"You've been busy too. And you don't have to thank me. You learned your lesson, I presume." Alice watched her brother to bandage her arm and already felt relieve. "Thanks." Then she moved to her closet, grabbed a clean shirt, the ruined one ended up in rubbish bin, and put it on.

"You could say. We still haven't figured out who held me captive but I'm not giving up. Shepherd wants me to let it go but how could I? I want to see that bastard John Smith begging me for forgiveness. And after long sweet cruel punishment he could finally meet his dead friends," this time Ian was deadly serious. When not being with Lavinia he tried to figure out as much of the organisation as he could. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot to be found.

"We? Who we?" Somehow Alice couldn't remember he would talk to her about it or ask for help with searching. Shepherd wasn't helping, she knew that for sure. So who could… Oh, no. Not her. Not that bitch.

"Lavinia's been helping me," he admitted. It was time for Alice to stop acting like a child whenever it came to Lavinia. "She's not that bad. And…," he started but rather stopped for it might sound as some kind of accusation which he didn't plan to. "Never mind."

She thought she laughed. What actually came out of her mouth was something more like chuckle. And not nice one.

"Right! Nevermind. It's your life after all." _You have the right to destroy it yourself._

"You're right. I don't need your permission to be with someone else!" He barked at her with a frown. Then he took a deep breath and calmed down a little. "You know that you will always be the most important woman in my life. That will never change."

He never spoke to her like that. Never. Alice didn't like the way their conversation was going.

"I think you should go," came the quiet answer, when she finally found her voice again.

He agreed. Before he left he gently squeezed her other shoulder.

"Get well soon," Ian whispered and went to the door. This was awkward he realized immediately. Maybe because his sister was as cold as stone. Some people including Lavinia said she was just another heartless bitch but deep inside he knew the truth.

"Thank you for stitching me up." This was so strange, so awkward and wrong on so many levels. How could she even feel like that? Shouldn't it be impossible or something?! God, she made herself feel like throwing up. This was sick. It was better for everyone she decided to play unscrupulous bitch.

The result of this evening was simple - without knowing what he was doing or where he was going Ian found himself knocking on Lavinia's door. His heart was hammering against his chest as he was afraid, afraid of being rejected, sent away or laughed at. He hasn't feel this way since he was still a teenager but now it was different. Now… Now the door opened and Lavinia showed her face. With rather surprised expression.

"Roman? Come in!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know Alice is behaving like a bitch and child but I wanted her to be like that. And adult woman who would do everything for her brother but because of past mistakes she learned that one of them has to be the "unscrupulous". Because even if it's just a sham, if she wouldn't do it, mother would kill both of them. They are soldiers in the first place and none of them is really good in feelings and explaining, they had rough childhood. So I wanted her to be bitch and child at once, especially with her brother. (Angie)  
> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


	5. You’ve done the right thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I said don't tempt me." She wanted to scream, to destroy things but… She could do one more thing. "I am not feeling guilty." Lie. "I left you behind because you are a trouble." Another lie. Excelent, Alice. "Because you were slowing me down." With every word she said she took a step towards him and he… he was forced to move backwards - until he hit the wall. She leaned her bloody hand next to his head. "I left you there to die." I am sorry, brother. I am so sorry.

That night she couldn't sleep. He haunted her. Her feelings for him, his eyes, the way he barked at her a few hours ago. _"… don't need your permission…"_ No, he certainly did not. But it still hurt because in that moment he was defending that bitch. That red-haired spoiled bitch who got away with everything. Every problem she caused somebody else was making right. Was it selfish of her to want for her brother someone good? Someone who didn’t have problem with authority, who would do everything for him? Someone… someone who would hide own feelings from everyone because it might hurt him?

That night was pure nightmare for her. Sweet pure Hell. She was dreaming about gently hands caressing her body, about lips that whispered sweet nonsenses into her ear, about warm and strong body next to hers. The man in her dream was treating her like she was a goddess, the only woman in whole world.

And when she finally saw his face - she woke up screaming. She was sick. This wasn't right.

"T-This couldn't and can't be true. No…,"

 

Ian woke up with the first rays of sun, as he usually did when he was alright. But this morning he wasn't just alright. After quite a long time he felt extremely happy, as if the last piece of puzzle was already found. He kissed Lavinia's naked shoulder and gently wriggled out of her embrace. He couldn't help himself but smiled at the sight of her, she was so pretty. All he wanted to was to keep this picture in his memory forever. But he couldn't just stand there forever, if he wanted to bring her breakfast into bed he should hurry before she woke up. And so he put his clothes on and quickly left. As he closed the door behind himself he saw someone else in the corridor. His heart skipped a beat, it was Alice.

After she woke up, she couldn't fall asleep again. Another sleepless night. Another dark circles under her eyes. It was driving her crazy - she was driving herself crazy! Just a few more minutes in that bed, just lying and she would scream with frustration! So she got up, put on some sweatpants, a shirt with a long sleeve and found somewhere in her room running shoes.  She opened door of her room and stepped out to corridor. And suddenly her heart broke as she froze at her spot. Ian was there. Ian was there, leaving _her_ room. So early? She wasn't stupid. Sleepless night, sick thoughts and injured arm… She did not need to deal with this kind of shit so early in the morning! Fuck. The stairs were close. Definitely closer to her than to him. But Alice couldn't persuade herself to move. She just stood there, staring at him.

He didn't want her to find out like that. He didn't want her to find out at all but that was only matter of time. Well now it was out in the air and she looked as if she was going to yell at him. Still he made a few steps closer to her.

"Good morning?" he tried with a light smile and brushed his hair. She shouldn't be running in her condition, she should rest for a day at least. But he knew that telling her so would be pointless so he swallowed his concerns.

Staring at him, eyes wild like a chased animal, Alice just nodded for she couldn't find her voice. He looked happy, even more than with her. So obviously… It worked for them - whatever they had. And she was out of the picture. _Move, Alice!_

"I should be going to the kitchen. Wanna have lunch later?" he asked her. Whatever was dividing them they shouldn't let it win. Unless it meant dumping Lavinia for Ian just wouldn't do that. No, his sister was reasonable enough to leave her complaints for herself. In fact she always kept everything to herself. Sometimes it was just too hard to know what she was thinking but now it was as clear as the cloudless sky - Alice looked as she wanted to strangle someone. Her brother or his new lover.

"Thanks. I-I think I'll just pass this one," only thing that was weaker than her answer was her smile. Alice didn't know how she got out, but suddenly was running so fast. Like if her life depended on it. She wanted to scream, but didn't know if she was far enough, wanted to smash something but didn't know what, kill somebody, but she couldn't.

And so Ian prepared breakfast for Lavinia and went back to her room. She wasn't sleeping anymore which spoiled his surprise for her a little bit. He didn't want to be any kind of romantic, he wasn't really into such stuff, but he overheard her mumbling about this particular thing so why not? It made her happy which meant she could make him happy and it went on and on again.

"Hey," he said with a light smile as he put the tray on the bedside table and lowered to kiss her.

 

What the fuck just happened? Did she really ran away? From her own brother? Like a teenage girl? Fuck. She was so stupid! How could she even let that happened?! How could she let her feelings win? How could she… fall in love?!

"Oh, crap!" Next thing she knew she was looking at sky. So lost in her own thoughts she stumbled and fell on the ground, which would be really funny if the stitches on her arm didn't break open. Alice was laying there for quite some time and when the cold started to crawl under her skin - she slowly began to walk back again. Wrecked or not, she had to come back.

Since he couldn't go on any mission yet Ian was assign to clean the headquarters. The building was huge so it wasn't something to be done in a few hours - he knew it will take days. So he started in the morning with cleaning the windows. Now he was finnishing the hallway when his sister finally came back from her run. But something was wrong with her, she looked as if someone attacked her.

"Are you alright?" Ian went immediately to her to see whether she was seriously injured or it was just her wound bleeding again.

"Yeah, I am perfectly fine." She didn't even look at her brother. It was hard enough just to hear him, to be _near_ him. _You are sick. He's not like you. He's your little brother. You can't poison him that's your burden._

"It opened again. Let me take care of it," he a made step towards her.

"No! I mean-It's good. Really, I am fine. I'm good." Was she convincing him or herself? She didn't know.

"It's me you're talking to, you don't have to pretend everything's fine, you know that," he wasn't going to give up. He knew her, he knew her too well and something was bothering her. "Alice, what's going on?"

"My name is Remi now. Alice is dead." _You can't talk to him right now, if you don't want to confess to him. Can you imagine his disgusted face after you say I love you? Do you want to lose your brother? You could eat a bullet as well, stupid girl._ She took a step back from him. She could see she hurt him by saying so.

"Whatever. But I still am your brother. Or do you want to tell me that my sister is also dead?" he snapped at her, frowning.

_I never saw you as my brother._

"If you were in my mind right now, you would wish for my death." That smile she gave him wasn't nice at all. "You would wish for Alice and Remi to be out of your life." _Ts,_ her injury was aching so she squeezed it harder.

"You can't mean this," Ian shook his head. "I would NEVER ever wish for your death!" What in the devil got into her? This wasn't the whole Lavinia thing. Could she feel guilty for letting him behind, letting him to die? "I love you, Alice. You're my sister and I will always love you," he hadn't said so for a very long time, years perhaps. So now, when the words left his mouth she could see his eyes were sparkling because of the tears they were filing with.

"Yes. I. Mean. Every. Word! You aren't inside my head so don't tempt me, Roman!" She could feel blood on inside of her hand - result of too strong hold. _Make him hate you, so you won't poison him. So you won't hurt him anymore. So he could breathe freely._

"My name is Ian!" he said with a sigh. "I don't know what's going on with you but if you feel… I don't know… guilty about leaving me back there then don't. I got out. And I understand why you had to do it, I really do. Just… I need my sister. I really need you." he whispered.

"I said don't tempt me." She wanted to scream, to destroy things but… She could do one more thing. "I am not feeling guilty." _Lie._ "I left you behind because you are a trouble." _Another lie. Excelent, Alice._ "Because you were slowing me down." With every word she said she took a step towards him and he… he was forced to move backwards - until he hit the wall. She leaned her bloody hand next to his head. "I left you there to die." _I am sorry, brother. I am so sorry._

"No. No you… I… I don't believe you," he bit his lower lip eyes wide opened in shock and disbelief. "You're lying," he tried to sound confident but he was hurt. Badly. In fact his soul just shattered into pieces and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to put it together again. Why was she doing this? Why was she playing this heartless bitch? "You gave me the coin. You… Alice… I…"

"It's in your possession now. It was a goodbye." _You are too close._ She took a few steps back. "It is a goodbye." _You'll be better without me, trust me._

"What…?" how could it be goodbye if they were staying in the same building. Or was she leaving Sandstorm? Was he leaving? He didn't understand. Nobody would. He just stared at her wishing he just woke up from this stupid nightmare. He bit his lip so hard his mouth was filled with the metallic taste of blood. This wasn't any nightmare, it was real. But still it couldn't… it just couldn't be…

"Goodbye," _my love._ It hurt. It hurt so fucking much she could barely stand. It felt like something died inside of her, like… No, she actually killed the best part of herself right there. "It's for the best." _I've always wanted the best in the world for you._

"So now you're gonna do what? Ignore me? Pretend I don't exist?! OR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO?!"

"Right now I am going to return to my room, then I have meeting with Shepherd and you, I believe, have a job to do, my dear."

"Fine. You know what? Do whatever you want, I don't care. I'm sick of this, tired of it. We promised each other that we would never leave, that we would never do anything to hurt the other one. Why are you breaking this promise now? What did you get yourself into?" the answer was right in front of him and it hit him. "I am your weakness, ain't I? You think I can't do it, I don't have it in me. You think I'm gonna fail again, that I might take you down with me."

"I am leaving you before you could do that. Because… Because I can't do this anymore and if it will go on then I will probably kill you or someone you hold dear. So no, I won't be pretending you don't exist or ignore you - you will do that for me. Goodbye, Roman." _That's it. The end. You fought for your sister well._

Once again she shocked him. He couldn't believe his ears. Did she just threatened Lavinia?

"As you wish," he muttered. He had to leave, he had to leave now or otherwise he would break down in front of her. And that was something he promised to himself that he would never do again. So he walked pass her and to his room where he hit the wall with his fist, breaking his healing fingers again. But he didn't mind the pain for the mental one was much worse. He wished John Smith did kill him eventually.

Alice didn't remember how she got into her room. But what she remembered exactly was smashing wall with her fists, leaving bloody traces. She remembered taking her chair and throwing it out of her window into the forest. She remembered sitting on her bed and screaming into her pillow or else everyone would be thinking someone's murdering her.

"What have I done?" _You've done the right thing!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I'm sorry I forgot to add new chapters :/ But heeey, they're finally heeere. Right?  
> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


	6. You call that kissing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, I didn't. In fact I don't think I would come if I knew," it just slipped his mouth but it was the truth. Even though he thought the whole situation was way behind him, it wasn't.

During next few months Ian and Lavinia were sent to many missions together. Since they were partners now they relied much more on each other and sometimes it looked like they could read the other's mind. Shepherd was very satisfied with them and they slowly became almost the best operatives in Sandstorm. They were supposed to do the next mission together as well but Lavinia got sick and because it was due to start the other day, Ian had to get new partner. They were supposed to meet in a classy hotel in the middle of Baltimore which meant few hours on a train. Ian didn't want to do it without her but he had no choice. Throughout whole ride he kept thinking about everything that happened in past months. It wasn't easy for him, his big sister broke him really hard but Lavinia was able to put some pieces back together and thanks to her only he was now on the top.

"Evening," he said to the young girl at front office and gave her his faked ID. "I should have reservation here, name William Burton." he moved the glasses closer to his nose and adjusted his suit. He was pretending to be a successful bank manager attending the local congress.

"Of course, mister Burton. Your wife is already waiting in your room," the girl gave him back his ID. "Here's your room card. If there's anything you need we're here 24/7." she smiled at him and Ian smiled back. His wife? How could they made that ID for her so fast? And who was her?

He carried his suitcase to the elevator and went to the seventh floor. Lucky seven, he hoped it was truth. So here he was, going to spend next days with someone completely unknown to him, someone who had totally different way of thinking. Someone who didn't know shit about him. Thinking that it was going to be fun he opened the door.

Alice was wrecked. Shepherd knew something's going on but didn't give a shit until it didn't interfere her missions. And in some way it helped Alice really much. Not to be inside their base, not to hear about his brother and that bitch. She almost forgot because there were much important things. For example she got a new partner. Oscar. He was funny. In hand-to-hand combat he sucked but she helped with his training. They became friends. But when he was sent by Shepherd to single mission… Well, knowing she would spend her time at base didn't lift her mood up. Quite the opposite. So it was surprise when she got a mission of her own. She was supposed to drive to Baltimore as soon as possible and her partner would arrive just a few hours after her - so she did what she was told. Driving the whole way wasn't so exciting, but getting into hotel was. She checked her ID. _Priscilla Burton? Seriously? God, who was creating those fake IDs with such a stupid names?_ Alice rolled her eyes and got out of car.

"Hello," she said to receptionist and gave her fake ID. "I have a reservation."

"Sure, here is your card." The room was rather big and classy. Fuck, she probably didn't even know how many people could actually live there. Her suitcases were still by door - too lazy to do anything, so she poured herself a drink. Couldn't harm, right?

At first Ian almost tripped over the suitcase his partner left there. Seriously? She wasn't even able to put her damn suitcase into the closet?! Just the thought that he was going to spend at least week with someone like that was unbearable.

"Glad to see you make yourself comfortable," he called from the door so she would have chance to quit whatever she was doing. He really didn't care, he just wanted this mission to be over as soon as possible.

"Sorry! I really hate packing and unpacking things." She called out of bedroom. "Christ. First that terrifying name and now this?!" There wasn't normal clothes! Only dresses and ballgown?! "Oh, I am so fucked," she mumbled to herself. She could hope that in the other one was something normal.

"Who likes it, huh?" he answered and went to the bedroom. There was one big bed which was just perfect. Not only he had to share a room with her, they even had to share one bed! There was sofa in the living room but he wasn't going to sleep there. No, for once he was supposed to be someone rich and he wanted to enjoy every second of that life.

He looked at her but could only see her back. She had dark wavy hair tied into bun, wore ladies suit that fit closely to her slim body, its jacket was lying on the bed next to her. He almost cursed as he stepped on her high heels that she probably threw carelessly wherever she wanted to. But the worst thing was yet to come. As she was unpacking she held very expensive and sexy lingerie. "Wait, you're not gonna sleep in this, right?" he sounded almost scared. Despite not knowing her face he imagined her body covered in just this and needed a lot calming down for his trousers were getting too tight. He forbid himself such dangerous thoughts and wanted to slap himself for that. If Lavinia found out…

"I don't know why they put it in here, fuck. I just hope that in the other one is something normal. Like cotton shirt double the size I am normally wearing. God, I just want to throw it away." She sighed, got up and kicked the case. "Going for drink, want some?" She finally turned to her partner and… dropped the glass.

Ian's eyes widened, no this couldn't be happening. Not this. Not her. He had to sit down on a bed. First of all of all the people he would never expect her to be his partner. Second, he had to hide his arousal from her. What would she think of him? He felt ashamed and embarrassed with himself. Fortunatelly he didn't blush.

"What a surprise. Did you know I was coming with you?" Maybe wrong words after "long time no see, bro" but she had to ask. Well, now the urge to have a drink rose. Actually, she felt like she could drink whole bar they had there.

"No, I didn't. In fact I don't think I would come if I knew," it just slipped his mouth but it was the truth. Even though he thought the whole situation was way behind him, it wasn't.

"Alright." That was unexpected. She picked up the glass from the carpet and went to living room. There was the bar. And right now it was the only thing she wanted - to get drunk. This was just a dream, right? "Ehm, I am taking the couch, I guess?"

"Finally something we can agree on," he muttered and closed his eyes. Why? Why was this happening to him? He had to get his shit together and work the mission as well as he could because he wanted to prove his sister that she was wrong about him. He was Sandstorm's top, she wasn't. Not that he knew of.

He cursed himself for this thought. If they were going to succeed they had to work as partners. But how could he work with someone who hurt him this badly?

 _See? He hates you, Alice. Nice work._ Alice leaned against the bar and closed her eyes. This wanted something stronger than red wine. Whiskey, perhaps? On a shaky legs she got to the couch and sat. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"This is a dream. Nothing more." After all those months… She knew those words she said had hurt him. And after all that time she still loved him. _Now I am really fucked._

It took plenty of persuasion but in the end Ian went to the living room to have a drink as well.

"If we want this mission to succeed we need to work together. Can you do that or am I gonna slow you down?" he couldn't help it, he just had to say so to see her reaction.

She stiffened, took a sip from her drink and then slowly answered with:"Yeah, I can do that." The whole situation was really uncomfortable, she could tell and he just needed to poke into her. She knew she made a mistake, but it was better for him. Couldn't he see that? All those months wasn't he better withour her?

"Good," he said and poured himself something strong. "I'm gonna take a shower and you should stop drinking. There's that party after midnight we are supposed to join. And I know you're playing my wife but I could do without scenes," he said coldly. In the end he wasn't able to be nice to her, even though he wanted to. Maybe the cold shower would help him.

"Okay, I guess I deserved that," she mumbled to herself after he left for shower. What… What did he say? After midnight? That was like… In two hours?! "Hey! But hurry! I need to prepare myself too!" After all she could at least pick up a dress. _Wow, because I don't have time for anything else._

He was out in like ten minutes having only the towel around his hips. There was still water all over his body but he didn't care.

"Bathroom's free," he told her and shook his head to get the water out of his ears.

Well, she deserved mean words but surely she didn't deserve this torture. Her brother only wearing a towel.

Pffff. She really didn't like those snobbish parties. She had to make her hair, make-up and wear a dress whole night - bleh. That wasn't for her.

"Can you hand me one of those dresses? Please?" she shouted behind closed door of bathroom.

As he went through the dresses he realized it was going to be hard because she was going to look dangerously hot in all of them. So he simply  picked some black one and opened the door just enough to hand it to her.

"This one shows the least."

"Thanks." She closed the door again and looked in the mirror. She blow-dried her hair and chose to do nothing with it. Put her make-up on was a matter of minutes and the same was the dress. "So, how do I look? It's good at least? God, I just hate this kind of clothing."

"Yeah, I guess you look pretty," he tried to sound uninterested but in fact he couldn't get his eyes off her. She looked so hot! But she was his sister, it wasn't right to think of it in that way. "Shall we go?" he wore another expensive suit, this time grey one. "Oh and I almost forgot, we're supposed to be married so," he took two rings from his pocket.

"You don't look bad yourself either." She imitated his voice and got into her shoes. "Oh, right. Just hand it to me," Alice said to him and stretched out her hand. "Hm?"

This was weird. Like really weird. So why did it felt so right when he put the ring on her finger? Avoiding looking at her he checked his phone for their instructions.

"So we have to find someone called… what?" he knew she was watching him and it made him nervous.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," she just shook her head. She said _hand it to me_ not _put it on my finger_. "So what were you saying? Who are we supposed to find?"

"Yeah, right. So his name is Rainbow Waters. Definitely a fake. No further information, that's just perfect." And so they went to the party. It was held in a residence big enough to have at least one hundred rooms. The main event was outside by the pool. Nobody told them to bring swimsuits!

When Alice had the feeling in her gut that something wasn't right they went to explore the house, especialy the main office. They got there without being seen and went through almost half of the stuff when they heard someone behind the door. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, they were trapped. That's when he got that idiotic idea. Without further warning he just grabbed her, pulled her close to him and kissed her as if she truly was his wife. Yeah, she was his sister and it was sick but the mission was more important than any of them. As he sat her on the table the guards went in.

"Who the hell are you?!" the main guard asked them.

"Oh God, this is really embarrassing," Ian said and pretended he was zipping his trousers. "We just wanted to be some place private, you know. Me and my wife. Isn't she the most beautiful woman you've ever seen? I mean look at her. Isn't she?"

She was dreaming. She must had been dreaming. He was holding her and pressing her body to his. The kiss itself just set her blood into a fire. _Enjoy it, Alice. It's the first and last kiss you will ever get from him. It's not true, this is just a show for them. You are here as a married couple so you have to act as one._ And then it stopped and a pair of idiots showed up in her visual field. So she decided to play her part, got down from the table and placed the strap in its right place - which was her shoulder. Ian put his hand around her waist and pulled her closer to him, kissing her cheek.

"Get out of here, both of you. The party's outside. And if we catch you again there will be consequences," the guard said with a frown.

"Roger!" Ian saluted him and led his sister away. He didn't stop until they reached the entrance hall which was now empty.

Alice was shaking. What just happened was amazing but it also wasn't true. It was all acting.

"What was that?" It was a question mostly for herself but it still got out of her mouth.

"That, my dear, is called kissing. You should try it sometimes," he gave her mischievous wink.

Her brother was acting like a jerk. She was still in some kind of shock and he was joking.

"You call that kissing? I don't know where you get that from but I don't call that kissing." Shaky answer was still an answer.

"Then what do you call kissing?" he was still acting because anyone could come anytime. But he liked poking his sister and was really curious about her reaction.

It was an act. It was the only time she could afford to lose it - a bit. She ran her hand through his hair and slowly closed the distance between their mouths, gently bitting his lower lip. She took her time for she knew this was the last time… And then she lost it a bit more. Alice pressed herself to him, one hand in his hair and the other one on his chest trying to get under his clothes.

What the hell was happening? He didn't expect this and he certainly didn't know what to do. Should he let her win? She was obviously playing with him and he was such an idiot to let it get this far. Now he was screwed. Totally. He needed her and he needed her as much as he had never needed anyone else. Trying not to think what he was doing Ian squeezed her butt and in one quick movement he lifted her and carried to the wall. He pressed her against it and looked into her eyes. Only for a second to see whether she wanted him to stop… or not.

She didn't want him to stop. Ever. So there was another kiss and another one on her neck and she was moaning and it was all too good to be true. When her brother paused to take a deep breath her blurred mind cleared. A bit.

"We… we have to find here someone, right?" Alice was looking at his swollen lips and couldn't help herself to steal another kiss from him. "We should go back to… to the party." It was so hard to find the right words and on top of that say them aloud!

"Wha…," he couldn't believe what she just said. There was no chance he was willing to stop now. Why would she try to seduce him like that and then just stopped? Was she just that mischievous? To hell with the one they were looking for! No matter how sick it felt he still needed her. And so he hesitated, looking directly at those lips he was kissing just a few seconds back. They were calling him to kiss them again. Why would he let them wait? And so he pressed his lips against hers once more.

She was desperate. He was desperate. Any time someone could walk right into them and she wanted at least a bit privacy. But right now she could even die and it really wouldn't matter to her. She wanted him so much it hurt as she was quietly moaning his true name. Not William nor Roman. Just those three letters. His true name.

"Ian." And that was it, his doom for he couldn't resist any longer. He put her back on the floor and led her to the first door that would open. And so it happened that they ended up in toilets room. He pressed her against the wall while his hand went up her body to her chest. He stopped listening to every reasonable part of his body because otherwise he would already stop. But he couldn't. He was driven by that fire he had no idea was inside of him and he couldn't stop it.

"Alice," he whispered into to her ear.

On the other side she wasn't reasonable at all. She was acting on her instincts, she let her feelings led her into her pesonal Hell. Maybe she will hate herself later but never feel sorry for this.

Alice felt under her hands hard muscles, Ian's arms that just wanted to embrace her and never let go. He missed her, she could tell but with that came a feeling he wanted to do this for a long time.

Too much thinking… She shared another kiss with him. Another perfect moment.

He didn't bother with unzipping her dress or something, he just simply pulled it up so he had better access to her. She was so hot, so beautiful, so… here. He had always adored her but this, this was just completely different kind of…

No, he couldn't think of that. Not in that way. Not now when he had everything he ever wanted. Her.

Breathing became much more difficult, she wanted to scream, to laugh and to cry. This wasn't happening. But Ian was still there filling her, moving her and moving _in_ her so this had to be real, right? Because if it was just one of her dreams she would go crazy after waking up.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming." Alice didn't care if she would look like an idiot she just had to ask. Needed to know this was really happening…

Instead of speaking he just pressed his lips against hers harder. This wasn't… They weren't… They were. And what's more it looked like she was enjoying it. He couldn't believe it! Right now he only wished this moment never ended but not every wish could come true and very soon the excitement was more than he could bear. Never letting go of her lips he just enjoyed this moment of pure sensation.

The end came too soon, Ian pushed her over the edge roughly as those suppressed feelings exploded in her body. Alice didn't really want to end this, she could make love to him all the time. As the adrenalin was slowly leaving her body, she felt Ian's grip on her tight loosen. There'll be a bruises tomorrow in a shape of his fingers. Perfect. Maybe the next day when she'll be looking in a mirror in their room those small bruises convince her this thing really happened.

He was breathing fast and his heart was hammering against his chest as if it was going to break through. Who would have thought that after what they've been through they would end here, making love in the bathroom. Definitely not him. She was like an addiction to him, once he touched her he needed more. And so he kissed her again,  holding her tight in his arms feeling like this was where she belonged. With him. Because he loved her, he always did and there was no man alive who could love her more, who could give her more. He was sure of that. But where did this leave them?

"We should find Rainbow," he whispered and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. There were many things he prefered to do rather than working on this mission right now but those were not possible.

Alice whispered shakily an answer - not knowing what words were leaving her mouth. It could had been anything from _Okay, lead the way_ to _Fuck it, we're staying here_. She just closed her eyes and tried to slowly breathe in and out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


	7. 50 shades of Alice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you fucking blind? Can't you be more careful?" she attacked that poor drunk girl. A glass with champagne spilled all over her shoes. That wasn't her intention but she could use it as well. "You ruined my suede shoes!"
> 
> "I-I'm sorry?" the girl babbled and watched her with wide eyes.
> 
> "Oh, yes, you better should be - these are Christian Dior!" She purposely ignored the man at girl's side like he wasn't there at all. Playing a young wife of a rich man has it's privileges. "Not to mention the pool in them - thanks to you!" Alice felt man's eyes on her body so it didn't really suprise her when he spoke to her.

With a light smile he led her out and to the pool where everyone else were having fun. They  had to blend in and find Rainbow before it was too late. But where should they start? Alice was so weak in her knees she had to lean against Ian - thank God he was beside her or she wouldn't be able to walk alone. She knew the mission was very important but… her concentration didn't work. She could still feel Ian's hand on her, his feather like kisses on her skin and that was bad. If something went wrong she was completely unusable.

It turned out that Rainbow was bearded man in his fifties. He had hawaiian flowers around his neck but beside that he wore suit and had really young girl next to him. She probably wasn't even twenty! Either she was gold digger or prostitute.

"Can you get him to talk?" Ian asked his sister quietly. They needed to find out few things, few answers that would get them much further in their mission.

"Well, I can try. Not that I want to, though." He looked like one of those disgusting older men who had to be near a young women, telling jokes no one considered funny and always has these touchy hands which felt like slugs on your skin. "Always can hope he swings the other way, right?"

"If he touches you I'm gonna kill him," Ian said and he meant it. Of course there were differences between touching and touching but he was sure she understood him. One last kiss, squeeze of hand and then they both went different ways - Alice to get information and Ian to get some booze. He tried to keep his mind on the mission but how was he supposed to do so? He was still going back to what just happened between them. She was his sister, his own sister for God's sake! But some part of him didn't mind. That was probably the worst of that all, he liked it.

After a few moments of observing (except for the part where everyone was kind of drunk)- he wasn't swinging the other way at all, she could tell. But the girl at man's side was so stupid she had to be his… something. On top of that she had a few drinks so she was waving with her hands around herself and loud talk was her new friend. Just perfect.

So pretending she had to pass that girl to get behind them was matter of minutes. Drink in her hand plus waving hands of that girl didn't mix well.

"Are you fucking blind? Can't you be more careful?" she attacked that poor drunk girl. A glass with champagne spilled all over her shoes. That wasn't her intention but she could use it as well. "You ruined my suede shoes!"

"I-I'm sorry?" the girl babbled and watched her with wide eyes.

"Oh, yes, you better should be - these are Christian Dior!" She purposely ignored the man at girl's side like he wasn't there at all. Playing a young wife of a rich man has it's privileges. "Not to mention the pool in them - thanks to you!" Alice felt man's eyes on her body so it didn't really suprise her when he spoke to her.

"I am sorry for my… companion. Can I buy you a drink as an apology?" Alice turned her 'angry' look at him.

"If you think one drink makes this right you're wrong. But two more could do it."

Ian wasn't so far so he overheard this whole conversation and had to do his best not to laugh out loud. Alice was just born to do this! If there was place for any doubt about them before it wasn't now, she looked just like another spoiled rich wife of successful man who didn't have to move her finger and spent her time by shopping only. With a light smirk he sipped his drink while another man turned to him.

"Women," the man said to him and Ian nodded.

"Why do they have to argue about such stupid things as shoes? It's not like she doesn't have hundreds of them. If someone scratched my car then I would understand but seriously? Shoes? Aren't there better things to do?" Ian asked his new companion. That man looked familiar to him but he couldn't remember his name.

"Exactly. The more with my collection where every single one is original."

"My father used to have old veteran, real beauty! Everytime I came frome school we worked on her, she was really unique."

"What happened?" The man sipped his drink.

"Bad investing, we bankrupted and had to sell her. So I worked hard to get her back for him," Ian was surprised how convincing this story sounded, he just thought of it and it felt so honest.

"Did you?"

"Not before he died. But hey, look," he took his phone and found a photo of a car he always wanted but never could afford it.

"Wow! She IS real beauty. I feel almost ashamed," he said with a laugh and showed Ian his collection. And that's when it hit him.

"You're Travis O'Conner!" The famous driver, youngest one within his house and also youngest one to win three big races in one year. "I'm huge fan, man!"

"It's always a pleasure to meet one," Travis said and Ian could tell he enjoyed such moments. They talked a little bit more, even took a photo but then Travis had to go find his girlfriend and Ian went closer to Alice. He had to admit he got distracted but who could blame him?!

"So, are you here alone?" Waters asked her and Alice suppressed urge to roll her eyes. It was like an old joke who everybody knows.

"I'm here with my husband but you know - we have open marriage. So I can bong who I want as long as I give him legitimate child," she started to laugh, acting like the one drink got a bit into her head. But hey, everyone here was drunk so it wasn't really a surprise. "Crap, these can go right to rubbish… were my favourite." She noted the 'accident' again with a sad look.

"Then your husband is a jerk 'cause he clearly can't 'preciate you 'nough," he watched as a if he was falcon watching his prey. This woman had to be his. Luckily for him he had just the right drug in his pocket. "Another drink?"

"Of course, thanks." Just when their drinks arrived she picked this moment to take her shoes off. If her assumption was right, he had to try something. She had to reach down a bit, but not enough to didn't see how Rainbow poured a drug in her drink. Well, that escalated quickly, she really had to catch his eye.

"Here you are," he handed her one drink. "What were we talking about?" Shit, she had to switch the drinks.

"Well, you said my husband is jerk. And I was going to answer that with - don't say it to his face. You know, he's somewhere here too." He laughed to her reply and she could congratulate herself in her mind. She was playing this rich bored wife pretty well.

"He'd be interested in my companion?" Rainbow pointed his head towards the girl. She was already pretty wasted, now taking off her shoes. She was going to swim, that wasn't good. If he had to go for her his new "friend" might have left him.

Alice was going to answer but saw someone over Rainbow's shoulder. He was pretty drunk. He was pretty drunk and falling on Water's back. So she caught hold of this chance. When the boozer hit the back of her companion, Rainbow started to turn towards him. She took the drink from him and switched it with hers.

She listened to the speech he was giving to the drunk man and she could almost compare it to boasting males in front of a woman they all want. Pitiful. So when he finally turned to her, she just gave him fake smile and handed him her drink. With the drug. He didn't know that though.

"Here. Sorry, I just didn't want to end up in ruined dress too. The shoes were enough."

"Yeah, sure. Dammit! I hate those loosers. Gets drunk after one drink, pff," he showed her very clearly how he despised such existences. She just nodded, laughed to his jokes and made sure he emptied the glass, then chatted with him for a little longer and drank her own beverage so he would think the drug was in her system.

"Shouldn't we move it to somewhere with a bit more privacy?" God, she felt like throwing up. He wore expensive clothes and she could smell from her distance how much cologne had he put on himself. Maybe in a much less amount it would be nice.

"Sure, luv," Rainbow put his hand around her waist, making sure he would touch her butt, and led her inside. They had to walk past Ian who felt something like a stab right into his heart. He knew she was just playing her part yet couldn't help feeling jealous. Why? Since when? Since he was a little child. But only now he realized what that feeling actually was.

They ended up in Rainbow's bedroom. No guards on this floor - just perfect. Everything was going accordding to her plan. All the way he tried to kiss her but she always laughed and told him to wait patiently. And he was a good boy and listened.

"And now a reward for you." She grabbed his tie and led him to one of chairs by the table. He sat on it very willingly. "You know, I have a very specific taste," she said to him and used his tie to bind his hands to chair behind his back. He was watching her, hunger and lust in his eyes. "I'm gonna really enjoy this." His face didn't change. He was horny, bit drunk and sure she was serious and willing to fulfil his dreams. Until the moment he wasn't. Suddenly her pose became straight, she wasn't swaying and something felt really off. "Well, you know. You shouldn't trust a woman who shows some interest in you - voluntarily. Not after you drug her. Just a piece of a good advice. So, what was it? Some roofie?"

"I don't know whatcha talkin' 'bout,"  he tried to untie his hands but that bitch tied it really tight. "What is this? Some kind of a joke? Blackmail?" For a second he felt like the room was shaking. He couldn't think clearly and everything started to blur. Did she put something in his drink as well? Alice smiled and punched him in the face.

"You wanted to drug me. So I ask again, what-" _punch_ "-was-" _punch_ "-it?" _punch._

"Bitch…," he muttered his cheeks turning red and blood spilling from his nose. His head started to ache. He wasn't going to say a thing to her.

"Wrong answer, darling!" She hit him into ribs - but not enough to break them. She didn't want that yet. But he fell on the floor, still tied to the chair, and started to cough. "Oh, sorry. I forgot my manners."

"Okay, okay. It was just roofie, alright?" He wasn't proud of himself, giving up so easily. But she sure knew what she was doing and he didn't want to get killed. "It was a mistake, a'ight? I'm sorry. Can we stop this now?" Just as he said so the door opened. Rainbow opened his mouth to talk to his guards but instead saw a man he has never met before. Fair hair, beard and scar going from above his eye to his mouth. If Rainbow wasn't frightened before now he got startled for the man was smiling.

"If I knew you were into these things I'd give you proper beating already," Ian said to Alice. He had to admit that watching her in action was pretty exciting.

"Well, I am if you know how to do it right," she winked at him. "So, mister Rainbow Waters. Right answer, let's keep it that way, okey? So I don't have to break any bones." She came closer to him and lifted him up from the floor. "By the way I switched the drinks," she whispered to him innocently.

"Bitch!" He spat right in her face which made Ian angry. Making few steps he stood right in front of him and strangled him a little.

"You don't want to go that way," he growled at him. Alice just growled at him too and wiped her face with hand which after that dried about Rainbow's jacket. "And I thought we are getting somewhere. Maybe I'll just break some bones in you after all," with that she just kicked him in the side and he fell again. "I can do this all day," she sighed. Rainbow shouted in pain.

"The fuck you are?! Whatcha want from me?! I know nothing!" Ian sat on the bed and watched them. He didn't feel sad for the man at all, this was just another necessary evil that needed to be done. For the greater good.

"Shouldn't we silence him?" He asked his sister.

"Or we could drown him a bit." She answered him. "And to answer your question-" Alice turned to Rainbow, "I am Priscilla Burton and he is my, according to your words, jerk husband William Burton who doesn't appreciate me as a woman enough," as Alice spoke she turned back to her brother with amusing look, "and we happen to have an open marriage - that's what I have said," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh, we actually do have that," he stood up and went to hug her from behind, one hand slipping under her dress. "But I don't think," he caressed her inner thigh, "that I want this scum to join us."

"And I don't want this scum to watch us so save it for later."She slapped his hand. "And for you, my dear Waters, we have a few questions." She smiled at him sweetly. "Will you answer them? Or should I let my husband play with you too?" My husband, that sounded so weird, so impossible. And yet that's what they were, at least until the mission was over.

"Aaaaaaaalright," he might have sounded disappointed but it was just a play.

"You're sick! Both of you!" Rainbow answered. That it was the wrong thing to say was clear immediately.

"That's not a nice thing to say," Ian came to the lying man and his feet got dangerously close to his crotch. "You should apologize to the lady," this was a warning, even deaf would know it. But Rainbow just stared at him eyes wide opened. "You didn't hear me? APOLOGIZE!"

"Easy love, easy," she sushed her brother and gave him a kiss on cheek. "We need access card to one building and access codes to one room in said building."

"Dearie, he doesn't speak with his crotch," Ian looked at her with said puppy eyes. Rainbow swallowed loudly.

"I-I'm so-sorry?" He stuttered. Ian sighed.

"This could have been such fun!"

"Apology accepted so, will you give us the access?" She kneeled in front of him and waited for his reply. If Ian wasn't there she would probably just beat the shit out of that fucking rapist.

"What access? I don't have any ac… wait, wait, WAIT! You mean THAT access," he stopped playing idiot when Ian put his shoe on Rainbow's crotch and indicated stepping on. "I will give you anything you want just let me go, please. Let me go," he started to sob.

"We will. After you'll give it to us." She stood up and smiled at her brother. This whole time she didn't even realize how easy it was to call him her husband. Like it always meant to be.

"It's in my office," he swallowed. "You need to go to my office."

"How original. And where is that?"

"I will lead you there. But you have to untie me," Rainbow said but Ian shook his head.

"No way. Not before we have the access."

"My vault can be opened only by my fingerprints." If he thought this was a wise thing to say he was mistaken for Ian's lips turned into mischievous smirk.

"We can always cut your hand off." He suggested innocently and looked at Alice. She would love doing that, he was sure. _Knock. Knock._

"Shut him up," Alice whispered. Who could it be? If anyone saw them and Rainbow was well known for this kind of things, everyone would expect she had sex with him. Crap. She moved to door and stripped from her dress. Like this no one will suspect anything if an unknown woman opened the door in her underwear. And exactly that she did. And in front of her stood the gold-digger. Ian put his hand over Rainbow's mouth before the man could do anything stupid.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" The girl yelled at Alice. "Did you just fuck him you bitch?! Did you like it?! I'm gonna kill you for that!" She tried to punch Alice in her face. Poor girl didn't know who she just messed with. Alice just caught her hand and put it behind girl's back then kicked the door to close them. The girl just cried in pain and fell on her knees so Alice covered her mouth with her own hand.

"Well, I think we just won jackpot. "

"It just started to be interesting," Ian told her and looked Rainbow in his eyes. "We are going for a walk, you and me. Stand up. Oh, sorry, I forgot you CAN'T do that," he untied him but very quickly tied his hands behind his back again. After that he walked him into his office.

"Such a shame, it's just the two of us." With that Alice locked the door behind her brother and set the girl free. She immediately stood up on shaky legs but didn't scream. From the shock probably.

"What do you want from me?" And Alice just smiled.

"I want you to run." The gold-digger did as she was told. There was a lot of screaming, much more falling and fighting but she wasn't a real match for Alice. The girl didn’t have a training so all that was needed were a few well aimed punches and she was on the floor. Again. "I thought you will make this interesting." She had to make this look like a lover fight where a man murders a woman. Alice was careful so the girl wouldn't scratch her or something - no DNA left behind - but that was quite easy because she was running from her all the time in circles. This wasn't exactly the cat-fight you could always see in movies. Actually after a few minutes it became boring. This whole situation gave Alice opportunity to kill when the girl stumbled and fell on the bed. So she picked one of those pillows… Such a shame that last words the poor girl heard were:"You are so clumsy."

 

During the way to the office Ian threatened to kill Rainbow several times. The man was startled and did what was told in only one goal - to survive. He didn't know what was coming but didn't like the expression on his torturer's face.

"What is she going to do to her?" He dared to ask.

"Oh, they're gonna play a game. The access. Quickly." Ian could see that Rainbow's hands were shaking which gave him a wave of satisfaction.

Once he had the access card and stuff he walked him back to the room. Still no sight of guards, that was a good sign. Right in front of the door Ian knocked him out.

 

Alice arranged a few more things, got dressed and quietly exited the room. In the hall she bumped into Ian.

"We need to get out of here. As soon as he gets to phone he'll call cops - if he didn't do that already."

"He's knocked out, don't worry, he won't wake up anytime soon," Ian assured her.

"Then I would really like to get out. I need a shower. And a few hours of sleep." She sighed and smiled at him. "And I think you could use the same, right?"

"You bet I would," he put his hand around her waist and kissed her cheek. "Let's go," he made sure no guards were on the corridor and led them out of there. Many drunk people were having fun in the main hall and something was going on beside the pool which gave them the best opportunity to leave. They used it, caught taxi and drove back to the hotel.

As soon as they got in their room she immediately disappeared into bathroom with a soft laugh and:"I'm going first." She was almost undressing during the walk there. Alice let the water drops fell on her body and turned the water to a bit warmer. Ian didn't wait for her to finish, he took his clothes off and went to the bathroom as well. Quite soon she could feel his hands around her body, his warm lips caressing her neck, hungrily tasting her skin. She was like his drug and he was already getting withdrawal.

"I thought you'll wait outside as a real gentleman." She had to laugh. Just a few hours back he was cold to her like a stone in a lake and now? How a few minutes when they were forced to improvise changed their lives - again.

"Since when am I gentleman?" he asked with a smirk and pressed her closer to himself, turning her to face him.

"You have always been. To me. With me."  She closed her eyes, enjoying his care with the hot water falling on her back. She tried to relax. She wanted to relax desperately but her fear didn't let her. She was afraid. Really afraid. What were they now? What was happening and what would they be after this mission? What would they become? _You infected him, Alice. There will be concequences!_

"I'm always better with you," he whispered into her hair before he put his hands on her cheeks and looked into her eyes. "Don't you ever leave me again. Never!" It wasn't really an order. Maybe a little bit. No, it was more like a request. Desperate one.

"I am so sorry, Ian. I had to! I didn't want to but I had to." He didn't understand. She saw it in those eyes. But that was the truth. She didn't want to hurt him for she knew he couldn't have a normal life with her. Not when the urge to control his life would be much stronger than her. She didn't want to destroy him.

"Was it because… because of this?" He asked her quietly caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "Because of what we have?"

"Yes. And because of what we will never have." Things like marriage, their own house or… or children. Alice never wanted to robb him of those things.

"Shh," he silenced her with his lips. "We're together now, that's all that matters," he meant it. He knew that once the mission was over it would be hard to keep their relationship. At least there were still several days awaiting.

"For how long?" Was her answer. But still the longing for this… whatever they had, was there. The desire to be with him every second, to own him.

"I don't know, I don't care. We always will, in a way," his hand traveled her body, not leaving an inch untouched. "You're mine, Alice."

"I have never been someone's else." She kissed him and placed her hands around his neck to be closer to him. "I love you." A whisper so quiet he couldn't even hear that, right? But he did because he was waiting to hear that. And it clearly made him very happy.

"Me too."

"Let's go to bed?" You'll never know how long things will last and Alice was determined to enjoy this as long as she could.

"Do we need to?" There was this smirk again as he pressed her against the wall and took her right there in the shower. There was this funny feeling inside her. Her mind was telling - no, screaming - at her this is wrong but her instincts were telling it's more than alright. That it's not a sin to love… and be loved. And exactly that they were doing - showing their love for each other. His hand went to her hair, first only brushing then pulling, making her tilt her head.

"Alice," he whispered into her ear and gently bit her neck, leaving light mark. She couldn't react at first at all. This sensation was so overwhelming, so strong. She had never felt this! Not until with Ian.

"Yes?" He couldn't speak for he felt like being in seventh heaven. While kissing her he silenced his moans in her mouth. He couldn't go on, it was simply too great.

Ian was driving her crazy as he slowly pushed her over the edge again. It felt like the first time maybe even better. There was too much to handle, she was scratching Ian's back, moaning his name and then everything burst in white light. Once it was over he took her in his arms and carried her to their bed. There he pressed her closer to his warm yet still wet chest. This was all he ever needed. It wasn't like he hadn't been dreaming of her ever since he was growing up. Their lips met again in a sweet kiss.

"I am really sorry I hurt you. In that moment I killed the best in me." She hugged him and let her head rest on his shoulder. Now she felt guilty. What if she didn't screw it the way she did? Would it be different now or the same?

"Shh," he pressed his fingers against her lips. "It doesn't matter anymore. Not now. Not here," he found her hand and entwined their fingers. "I love you, Alice. I always did. And always will." It was so perfect, so beautiful. She was so happy she almost started to cry. Even after those terrible things she had said to him he was able to forgive her. Once more she squeezed his hand and slowly drifted into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt a bit inspired by Clueless and Alicia Silverstone's moment at the party. Sue me. :D  
> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


	8. You are going to torture your sister

The morning came faster than Ian would like to. That unpleasant sound was his phone ringing, someone was calling him. Muttering some curses he reached for his phone only to hear Shepherd talking.

"Mother," he was suddenly awaken. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," he looked at Alice's naked body lying next to him and had to smile. She looked really cute. "We got it, don't worry. When are we supposed to… tomorrow? Good. So today we just have to go to the bank and…," _And steal the plans._ Which seemed as impossible task for the bank was really huge with good security. But if you had the access card same as Alice and Ian - those men couldn't bother you at all. They infiltrated the bank as if Alice belonged among Rainbow's people and Ian was her bodyguard. Nobody questioned them so with some staff member they entered the main office and thanks to Ian stole the plans. So this part was easy, but every mission has its easier and harder parts - every spy could agree on that. It was time for them to go home…

And Alice didn't want to. She was afraid for she knew what was coming, what Ian's choice will be when the time comes.

Yes, there were some guards in the end and no, they didn't make any troubles. So very soon they were back in their hotel room. Ian looked at his sister… at his lover… and smiled.

"I'd love to see their faces once they find out their plans are missing," he smirked.

"Not really happy faces, I suppose."

 

The drive to their headquarters was… calm and nice. At some point Ian started to reminding her some memories from the times they were children and she had laughed so much! It was liberating. They were about an hour far from there when Ian stopped the car in front of some restaurant.

"Come on, let’s have something to eat," he squeezed her hand and pressed a kiss on her cheek. He didn't want to come back for two reasons. First, their relationship couldn't really go on there. They could meet some times, steal the time for themselves, but not too often. Second, Alice didn't like Lavinia. If she hated her before he couldn't imagine what would happen next. He loved Lavinia. Not as much as he loved Alice because their relationship was deeper than anything else.

"I don't think I can convince my stomach that's okay to eat," she smiled weakly. She was a bit nervous. This just couldn't end well. But despite those facts she got out of the car with her brother.

"They have pancakes," he tried and put his hand on her back. "Stop worrying, love," he said quietly. "It will turn just fine. I won't leave you, never."

"Guess I could try them, then." During their meal she relaxed a bit, Ian tried to distract her but still she kept seeing those fucking flashbacks and her head started to hurt. Awesome. Just… awesome. "I am sorry - not the best company today."

"Come on," he squeezed her hand. "Spill it out, we should talk now while we still can." Yeah, because _then_ they won't be able to talk at all.

"I'm just afraid. Who am I kidding? I am fucking scared, Ian. We both know this won't last long and I am scared when the moment comes."

"We will have to keep it quiet there but I won't lose you, I won't stop it. I'm sorry but I simply can't do that. This thing between us… it's the realest thing I've ever had. I feel… whole when I'm with you. And that feeling won't fade away. So yes, for the others we will have to pretend we… we don't feel that way. That we are just ordinary… you know. But I promise that we will find a way to meet every now and then. And those moments will be worth it."

"Okay, okay." She wanted to believe it so much! That this thing, their relationship, will survive but for her own _'good'_ she was a realist. And realists happen to see things how they really are but… Ian was looking at her with those hopeful eyes she just nodded at him and kept her mouth shut.

He leaned to her and kissed her. It was meant just to peck her lips but he couldn't resist. She held that spell over him, just her presence was intoxicating and he started to feel that need, that lust for her. But he didn't say it, nor he indicated anything.

 

When they finally got home, Shepherd welcomed them by standing in front of their headquarters. That wasn't usual at all. Alice gave her brother one last look and got to their leader.

"Mother," she greeted her with a small smile. Ian was a little nervous at first but relaxed quite soon. In the end, they did everything right. There was a huge scandal with Rainbow Waters killing his young companion. Nobody believed him that he was innocent, everything pointed at him and some people could swear they saw them fighting earlier that day.

"Mother," Ian nodded towards the woman.

"You did well," she smiled at them. "Come with me. I have some important things." She didn't wait for them and just quickly entered building and went straight to her office. Her children were right behind her. "Close the door, Roman, please." He did as being told and then he handed her the plans. He hoped they were sent to another mission together but life wasn't that easy, that fair. "Thank you, dear." Shepherd stepped behind her table and sat down. "We were preparing for this mission for a long time and now we have to do a few more thing before everything starts. I will have one of us on Kurt Weller in FBI. I chose Lavinia." That was the moment when Alice went white as those fucking walls around them.

"You can't be serious!" That was all she said and the worst part was she wasn't even screaming at their mother.

"I am and I know you're not a big fan of hers, but if she was so persistent to bring Roman back to us she could do this as well. On top of that - it's nothing more than informational work. We need to know more and I won't activate our mole because of this." Ian was pale as well but not because of anger but fear. If something happened, something went wrong, he could lose her. Yes, they went on more dangerous missions together. But that was it, they went together. He was there to keep an eye on her all that time. If something went wrong he could make it right. And those missions didn't last this long.

"Is she…," he cleared his throat, "is she supposed to… get close to him?"

"No, Roman. Your girlfriend isn't supposed to sleep with anyone on this mission. But I think it isn't in concern of yours. You are not going." Shepherd sighed. "But you have a task on your own. You are going to torture your sister. She has to go through every type of torture you can imagine." She turned to Alice. "I am sorry but you will need it. I will do this to you too."

"I'm… what?!" She couldn't be serious. No, she couldn't mean this. He looked at Alice, fear in his eyes. How was he supposed to torture the woman he loved, the one that meant a world to him?

"It's okay, brother. I suppose you need to teach me so my body will remember it went through it already at some point, right?"

"Right. I am really sorry, Remi." She smiled at her, glad that at least her daughter understood her.

He couldn't do that, he couldn't. He would love to torture her in his own way but that wasn't what Shepherd had in mind.

"When do we start?" He simply asked. He should go to see Lavinia now, talk to her about the mission and everything. They haven't seen each other for almost a week and he didn't even call her. Those were the rules he had to follow.

"This evening. At six o'clock. So do whatever you need to do, you have just a few hours. You can go now, Roman. Remi, you stay here for a moment." He just nodded and left. When knocking on Lavinia's door he felt guilt eating him alive. But he didn't care. He put a smile on and went to his girlfriend.

 

"Remi, I need you to understand I won't be enjoying your torture but-"

"I know, mother. You don't have to explain yourself to me. It for the good of our operation. So I'll do it." She really didn't want to do it but it was for the greater good, right? And if her mother, no, their leader, trusted her with this, Alice will do it. She saw how relief took over her mother. "And I highly doubt you are the type who enjoys torturing her child."

"I am not. But one more thing, dear. When the time comes, your brother needs to realize you are his superior. He must follow your orders. No matter what."


	9. I'm so sorry, brother

"Hej Lav," Ian went to her room to greet his girlfriend. "Feeling better?" She looked better, not completely healthy but it was a matter of few days now. There was that determination in her eyes.

"Hey there," she smiled at him. "I need to be feeling better. You know, important missions and stuff like that."

"I heard," he said with a sigh. "And I'm worried. Not that I don't trust you, you will do just great for you're the best one they could choose. I'm just worried about what you're gonna do without someone as perfect as me," he joked and literally fell on the bed next to her. "Missed you," he kissed her cheek and checked her temperature.

"You know, I'll do just great without you," she paid him back the joke, still smilling. "Maybe it will finally convince your sister I am as good spy as her." That was more to herself than to Roman, but hey, he didn't need to understand that.

"Nah, I'd doesn't matter what she thinks. You are as good as her," in more ways than she could understand. "Anyways, can you tell me more about the mission? Shepherd just told me the very basics and then went on about my own. Will we stay in touch? How often can I be with you because I don't want to miss our Tuesdays!" They did crazy things on Tuesdays. It started on one mission they had together when they went to see baseball, next week it was car racing and the next they went to rock concert. It was fun, pretending they were someone completely different and escaping their lives for a while.

"I don't know Roman. I don't know when I will have free time but what Shepherd told me it's just informational work - no threats. And yes, we can. I will probably have even my own flat so you could… maybe… drop by?" She was rather excited about this mission.

"I think I could," he smiled. "Can you promise me one thing?" She couldn't blame him for being worried. She was going to work as undercover for the FBI itself, anything could happen to her. Their own missions weren't any easier than Sandstorm's. What if something went wrong and she got hurt, even killed?

"Depends on what do you want me to promise you."

"Don't sleep with anyone else on this mission. I just… can't stand the idea of someone else touching you," he was looking in her eyes and spoke honestly. Yes, he was hypocrite right now but this was different. "Please."

"Well, as long as you'll be faithful to me, I'll be faithful to you."

"You know I will," he kissed her. "What's your cover story? And your new name? I should get used to it." And so they talked about the mission until his pager beeped. It was time for him to go. He didn't want to. More than ever before he didn't want to meet his sister. "Gotta go, Lav," there was no smile now, more like a frown. "I'm gonna fail again 'cause I don't think I can actually torture Remi. Yeah, she can be a bitch sometimes but still…" he sighed.

"I would enjoy it." She was honest with him. "What? I know she's your sister but I would enjoy it because of what she did to you."

"I still love her, no matter what," he sighed. "We… made peace on this mission. We had to. Still I wish you were there with me," there was truth in this because if Lavinia was there he wouldn't explore those feelings towards his sister, he wouldn't know the sensation when being with her, being in her, being loved by her… They would still be only brother and sister and things wouldn't be so… complicated. But there was no if, things happened and he couldn't take them back, he wouldn't.

 

Alice was in her room when someone from kitchen brought her food. She found it a bit strange but she was warned. And also hungry so she ate it and then went to bed. _Fucking Lavinia. "If she was so persistent to bring Roman back..."_ Alice wanted to kill her. Really kill her because she made the days without Ian here really unbearable.

_It wasn't right. She made a mistake and now will be paying for it forever. How could she even do that? Leave her brother just like that? She was supposed to protect him. They were always protecting each other and now she broke that promise._

_"I am so sorry, brother."_

_As if it wasn't enough, everyone at base was just spreading gossips like flu. She had to live with the fact she left her brother - not them! So they shouldn't remind her of that. It was like "Look, she's the heartless bitch." or "I would never leave a member of family behind." It really pissed her off, so when she heard some of those lines she just held her breath and went away. But one day it became just too much to handle. That freckled bitch was talking with some spies but the moment Alice entered the hall they changed the subject of their conversation - to her good old mission. It was all over and over again. How could she, they wouldn't do this and that. Her nerves just exploded._

_"Well, maybe that's the reason you‘re not Shepherd's top spies!" It wasn't really nice, in fact cold-blooded but she couldn't help herself. If they wanted a heartless bitch, they got her._

_The only person who understood was Shepherd. And because of those rumours and word attacks she forbid her people to talk about it ever again. Still, Alice didn't want to be at base so Shepherd was sending her to missions._

_The others didn't understand how she felt - to sacrifice someone she loved. She dreamed of that moment every night since. His face haunted her, that horrified look in his eyes, the betrayal - she was always waking up screaming and few times even crying. It looked to her like she couldn't hide the only person she loved at all. She couldn't keep her own advice._

_She promised herself that if he ever comes back, she will protect him. From her, from her love, from her poison. She will let him breathe freely without her as the great burden. And no matter what, she will let him do his own choices._

And now that bitch is going to… She never finished that thought for she fell asleep only to be awaken by some voices. She was no longer in her bed but on the floor of a truck? She heard engine, but that was all. She had a bag on hear head but her hands weren't tied behind her back. First mistake. So she listened a bit and then took that thing from her head. Everything was a bit blurred, Shepherd must have drugged her. So she kicked one of those men who was closer to her. Somebody hit her in stomach but she only hissed in pain and gave the closest man a head-butt. _Fuck, that hurt._ And then she got with and elbow in her face. From blurred everything went to black. Last words she heard were:"Fuck! She was supposed to be still asleep!"


	10. Forever

Once they arrived to Sandstorm's secret base Ian masked himself and used the voice changer so his sister wouldn't recognize him immediately. In the cellar, where they brought her, chains were hanging from the ceiling, waiting for her. He was the one to tie those around her wrists, making her float in the air. Even if she wanted to she was too high to touch the ground, even with her toes. For a second he thought she looked so vulnerable and felt the urge to protect her. Yet he couldn't. When he put the bag away from her head he took the bucket full of cold water and splashed it at her. In fact he used three such buckets. Not because he had to but because he wanted to.

Alice was up after somebody spilled on her the first one. It was fucking cold! And she could feel blood in her mouth. Probably from that friendly hit in the truck. And she could also feel they hung her up. Awesome. Shepherd really did a job here. After a few hours she'll be glad if they take her off because her shoulders will be killing her. Right, IF they take her off.

"Wakey, wakey," Ian said in a tone you use when talking to children. "There's no time for sleep now, Sleeping Beauty," he went closer to her, ropes in his hands. He had to tie her ankles to the ground as well so she wouldn't use them. He should have done that sooner but this way it was training for them both. He smirked as he realized that she opened her legs for him a lot in past days, now he wanted her to do the opposite.

Ah, she hated him. Whoever was behind that mask she already hated him. This kind of tone and choice of words were irritating. But she could at least take a look. _Huh, not much to see, Alice._ He was all in black with a black mask on his head and reduction of his voice. Well, that was interesting.

"If you are a good girl you might get some reward," he said lightly with a laugh. Then his tone changed. "But if you choose to be really bad girl, you're gonna get some serious beating. How would you like that?" He tilted his head a little and considered the best way to tie her legs.

Alice still refused to speak to him. She didn't even know what they wanted from her right now but was convinced soon it will show. Unfortunately the lights weren't all on so she couldn't see how big that fucking room was or where they were.

That this was a mistake to make Ian realized as soon as he approached her. He couldn't kneel in front of her, nor could he lower his back to her. So the only thing he thought of was coming to her from behind. He never stood a chance against her, she was too good. The moment she heard those steps behind her back and suddenly felt the rope on her skin, she realized he must have his hands near her feet. Alice grabbed a hold of the chains that tied her hands, slightly moved her left leg so her captor was forced to catch it and at the precise moment, with that strong hold on her ankle, she could lean against his hand so she turned with all strength and with her free leg kicked him.

"Fuck," he coughed and took a deep breath. Then he hit her hard in the healed shoulder. He didn't want to, didn't like it. But she was going to be in pain and that was his advantage. He used that moment to finally tie her ankles together, even added the weight. Only like five kilograms but it was more than enough. "This should teach you a lesson," he muttered and went back to face her. Alice groaned in pain. _Fuck, that really hurt._ For a moment she thought she saw fucking yellow stars. Well, at least they were getting somewhere. She closed her eyes, started to slowly breathe in and out and opened them again when the pain became bearable. _I am gonna kill you._ "Are you going to be a good girl now?" His laugh sounded like a bark. He hated himself for hurting her. He loved when she screamed - when she screamed his name while being in bed with him. But that was pleasure she felt. Not pain.

"Bite me," she gritted through her teeth. Her head was still a bit spinning obviously thanks to the drug, from the kick and now even the pain. She remembered Shepherd's words:" _Every one of my men was tortured or tortured someone. Differently. And unfortunately - we have to show you how._ "

He smirked and once again approached her from behind and bit her shoulder. Literally. Then he turned into hysterical laughter. And again - it was the not so fully healed one. She swallowed another groan of pain. What an idiot. She didn't mean it literally, for fuck's sake!

He took his pocket knife and showed it to her.

"So," he pressed it to her neck, "how do you want to play this? You may think this is just a game but I can assure you it's not." She didn't reply. They were going to torture her. Not kill her. But that wasn't the main reason she didn't answer - it was the fact that the jerk could take her words literally - again. "What's your name?" he asked, the flat part of blade touching her skin.

"Fuck you," she spat on his face - well, on his mask but it counted as well.

"Well, that escalated quickly," he used the knife on her clothes and literally cut her t-shirt and trousers in pieces. Well, that was unexpected. She had goose bumps how the cold started to crawl under her skin. She started to think about how long will she be there? How long will they let her just hang there? Was Shepherd watching? Or Ian? And what about that freckled bitch? _I doubt she doesn't look forward to get here._ "What's your name?" Ian asked her again. If she didn't answer he was going to bring another bucket with cold water.

"Fuck you. Should I spell it out for you?"

"Oh, really?" he went to take the bucket.

"Yeah, parents were Asians. Probably thought it's funny name." Fuck. She was going to freeze to death if he spill it ont her.

"You still think it's fun?" he spilled it on her again. "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!" he yelled at her. Thanks to the changer his voice sounded intimidating and it echoed in the room. So fucking loud, it was ringing in her ears for quite some time and she couldn't even cover them. She shut her eyes and her face twisted with discomfort. And her shoulder started to be killing her. Fuck.

He repeated his question again and again and again. He needed to make her speak which still didn't work. That was a bad sign and Shepherd wasn't going to be pleased with him.

"Olivia. Are you happy now, asshole?" Well, he wanted a name, he's got a name. Maybe for a little while they will leave her alone. She knew Shepherd was behind this - but it didn't mean it didn't get to her. Into her. One day she could be a prisoner of FBI or CIA and their treatment wouldn't be much different. She knew it.

"Olivia. Finally we're getting somewhere. You should get reward for finally being a good girl, right? Right?" he laughed and went to the wall behind her where he left his suitcase. He took an electronic collar and put it around her neck. "Do you like it, Olivia? Tell me the truth!" He licked his lips and whispered into her ear:"Don't try to lie, I will know the truth. So who are you?"

"I told you. My name's Olivia Shawn." If she had to lie then properly.

"Wrong answer," he shook his head and gave her light electonic shock. And in this way it went on and on. He asked her something, she answered and if he didn't think it was the truth he gave her another shock. For a few times she sent him to hell but in the end she was just probably too exhausted so she fainted. That was the time Shepherd called for him and he knew she wasn't satisfied with him. But what the fuck could he do more?! He was torturing his own sister! He despised himself for that already.

"You did well, but this is your sister. She's stubborn, strong and independent. You won't break her this way. You have to go on her much harder - I will go there too and will do much worse things than you." Shepherd knew this would be hard. Specifically for the two of them. But they had to this.

 

Alice wasn't sure how long she has been there but it was really teriffying. And painful. She could feel her mind slowly break. She could survive drowning, or shocks - even that electric collar which made her throat so sore she couldn't speak. Even the beating - which wasn't that bad yet. They were still asking her the same question - what was her name? And her answer was still the same - Olivia Shawn.

And every day was the same. She woke up, got tortured or proper beating, then they locked her up in her cell, brought her food, let her sleep for a few hours and over and over again. It was so exhausting. Only her, her nightmares and thoughts. Not even a memory of Ian was enough. After every torture her strengths were leaving her and she slowly stopped fighting back. Her whole body was aching and there wasn't a place where wasn't a bruise.

After some time she realized they speeded up her time. They had to. Because she lacked proper sleep, she was fainting more often. They exhausted her and then it stopped - they let her sleep longer but still not enough. Her mind was shattered into pieces but trying to put them together seemed like impossible task.

One day, when they brought her to the room again and she saw there just a wooden chair - more like the old electric chair - she almost started to cry. They tied her hands to armrests and she could guess what's in the store for her. Because if she, till now, didn't know who's gonna torture her, this was the moment she knew it pretty fucking well. Cade. Once she heard him when he was boasting about what kind of torture is his favourite.

It was the longest torture. First she was just grunting in pain but after he got _another_ splinter under her _another_ fingernail so her _another_ finger was bleeding, she started to yell in pain until she couldn't. Alice was broken. Alice was so broken she was going to say _I am Alice_ or _I am Remi,_ but suddenly Cade stopped, just stood up and got out of there. And she was so fucking happy she started to laugh - but didn't recognize it. Was it really her who was laughing? _Didn't know, didn't care…_

It was hard for Alice and it was even harder for Ian. Of course he wasn't the one being tortured but watching his sister, the woman who meant everything to him, being hurt like that, being torn like that, he hated it. He thought he was hard on her the first day but Shepherd told him to speed up. And so he did. He was beating her, strangling her, he even added few cuts to her skin. But when he saw what the others actually did to her… he just couldn't stand it.

One day Shepherd took him with her to see Cade's torture. All the time he was fighting tears in his eyes for this was unbearable. She was broken, he could see it. Were they satisfied now? He wanted to run in there and kill Cade for all the pain he did to her. But he couldn't. He had to watch her and Shepherd probably wanted him to approve of it, he wasn't sure. But if she did, he couldn't. He just couldn't.

"Is he really gonna leave her like that?!" Ian asked his mother angrily when Cade left his sister with splinters under her fingernails. "You can't be serious! Mother!" yes, he was almost yelling at her and yes, she slapped him. But he didn't care, he didn't feel that.

"What do you think they'll do to her? Burst in with apologies and start to help her? I don't like it either but she has to be prepared!" And then she saw it in his eyes. The care and love for his sister. She loved her too but for the good of their mission couldn't or didn't want to see how broken she really was, yet her daughter never spoke her true name. "I am sorry, Roman. Cade, get back and take out those splinters." Ian's fists were clenched and it took all of his strength not to punch the wall, not to break through to get her out. It was his turn to torture her after Cade but he wasn't sure he could do it. He had to, for the sake of them both. And so he waited, waited for everyone to leave and he could be alone with her. What he was going to do to her wasn't actually painful. Physically. He was going to give her hope and then take it back again.

Once she was chained again he approached her from behind and gently kissed her shoulder.

"What have they done to you?" he whispered into her ear. "My sweet Alice, my love," his hands caressed her tortured body, trying to calm her down. "Can you hear me, Alice?" the lights were turned out so he didn't need to wear any mask this time. But he had the voice changer. He was going to switch his voice once she recognized him.

She was hallucinating. It couldn't be true. Her mind was playing with her or they were. _What the fuck do you think they were doing this whole time? They ARE playing with you. They are fucking with you and your mind._

"You can't be here," she couldn't even stop the whisper that just left her mouth.

"I am here, my love," he whispered into her ear and kissed her temple. "I will always be with you," he used the changer, "and I've been here the whole time, you little bitch!" his hysterical laughter filled the room once again. His hands were still touching her but not in that gentle way, more like in hunger, in huge and desperate lust for her. "Who did you think I was, my dear Olivia?" he bit her shoulder hard, leaving yet another bruise there. "Did you think I was your saviour? I was your lover? No, my love, nobody's coming to save you. Nobody's even missing you. They left you here, for us. You are our victory toy and you will be… until you die. But don't worry, we won't let you die. Not now. Not ever. You will stay right here with us, entertaining us," he switched the changer back to his own voice. "I will keep you company at night," he pecked her lips.

 _See? They're fucking with your mind. How can you even be sure it's really them? What if they aren't here? What if they really gave you away? They speeded up the time for you, they drugged you. How can you be so sure they are not moving you from place to place? How could they know about the relationship you have with your brother? Ian is in your mind. They are using your hallucination._ She started laughing insanely.

"Well played, well played." If she was speaking to herself or to the man - that was mystery.

"Olivia? _I'm here, Alice._ Keep laughing, Olivia. _I'm with you till the end, Alice._ What are you laughing at, Olivia? _Alice?_ Olivia? _I love you, Alice._ You're gonna suffer, Olivia," he was whispering to her in the changed voice. Yet sometimes he used his own voice to play with her, to encourage her, to let her know he WAS there with her. With Alice. For Alice. But she couldn't know. " _Remember Baltimore, Alice._ Olivia? My sweet Olivia? Are you having fun, Olivia? _You are mine and I am yours, Alice._ Don't fight it, Olivia. _Forever_. YOU'LL STAY HERE FOREVER!" She was laughing again.

"Oooh, I'm gonna BEAT YOU SENSELESS, you little piece of shit!" It was so hard, she was tired, wanted to sleep but couldn't. She couldn't fight, she couldn't go on. _I am sorry, brother. For not being the sister you deserved._ Alice was silent now. In her body wasn't even a pinch of strength. Ian turned her to face him even though they couldn't really see the other one's face for the darkness surrounding them. He placed his hand on her heart, the other one on her cheek.

" _Always_." That's what they promised to each other one night back in Baltimore, that they will always love each other, no matter what. And he kissed her. Just gently, quickly. After that he left.


	11. Pain is a dream

When they came to get her, she fainted again. Exhaustion did a 'good' job on her so for one time they didn't just threw her in cell but actually laid her on bed. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin was so pale… So pale. Unhealthy. She was shattered. They let her sleep almost whole night and it was Ian who came for her to wake her up and bring her to another torture.  
"Alice?" he said quietly, leaning down and gently kissing her forehead. "Wake up, darling," he gently shook with her. Her mind was playing with her again. She didn't like it at all. _Obviously they decided it wasn't enough._ Alice gathered what remaindered of her strength and wanted to punch that son of a bitch… but in front of her was Ian. The real Ian. _Her_ Ian.  
"I am sorry." Her eyes filled with tears. He was really there. "I am so sorry, I… didn't… want to." He hugged her immediately and pressed her closer to himself.  
"What have we done to you?" there were tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, my darling, my love. I'm so sorry," he kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her lips.  
"Why are you here?" She pushed him away with shaky hands and grunted with pain. Her fingers were still really sensitive and from blood.  
"You can't give up now, my love," he had bucket with water and first aid with him. "You're too close. Hold on, Alice. It's almost over," he knew he shouldn't be telling her but he couldn't help it. She needed to know, she needed to get it together and kick everyone's asses, especially Cade's.  
After he treated her worst injuries he handed her her favourite chocolate. As a token of being at her side but also because she needed energy. "Eat it, you're gonna need it," he said quietly, not looking at her. Would she ever forgive him for this?  
"Tell Cade I'm gonna kill him for this," was all she said to him. Her hands were burning, her body aching. And Ian wasn't there to get her home. It was just another torture - to see him when everybody had masks on their faces.  
"Do you remember, what I told you before the electric chair? That there's a place in your mind no one can get to. A place that belongs only to you. No matter what they say, no matter what they do, no one can reach you there. Pain is a dream. Don't forget this. Never. You're stronger than that, than any of us. You're special, Alice. Don't let anyone break you. Ever. Use that place. Think of me, of you, of us, hell think of the cloudless sky if it helps you. But you'll be safe in there. Always." He told her patiently and kissed her one last time before it was time to go. "Come, the sooner this is done, the sooner it's over." He led her to another room, this time there was bathtube full of water and another people wearing masks. Ian didn't want to stay, didn't want to endure this. But he had to. And so he sat by her left side and watched the men pulling her hair and placing her face towards the water. "Don't forget, Remi, their job is to make you feel like you're about to die. Your job is not to believe them. Your body might get weak but your mind is strong." Ian had to bit his inner lip not to stop this. They started drowning her. For a few seconds, then pulled her out, letting her catch her breath and then it all started over and over again. For like five, ten times. Each time they drowned her longer. He started pacing, telling himself she could do this. She could. When they pulled her out he sat by her right side this time.  
Bide your time. Wait and watch. There's always a way out." He saw her eyes checking the room and felt so sorry as they drowned her again. He couldn't stand it anymore, he had to leave. And so he did, wiping away his tears.

There was burning in her lungs. She couldn't breathe, just felt like they pulled her out on the floor.  
"Fuck, she's not breathing! She tried to drown herself."  
"Then help her you fucking idiot!" The water got out of her thanks to one of those men, but the closest one got head-butt and then she kicked him away from her in a direction she hoped was right so he would land at the others. It was a miracle she was able to run on those weak, shaky legs - so she ran, couldn't even see precisely where to but it didn't really matter for she opened the main entrance and got blinded by the Sun, from fresh air her head was spinning - and then everything went black.  
After she escaped there was some yelling, a little chaos but in the end Ian found her, lying on the ground outside the building. He took her in his arms and carried her to the car so he could drive her back to the headquarters. It wasn't far, just a few hours and this whole time she spent on the back seats, sleeping. He wasn't going to wake her up, not even after the policeman stopped them. Poor man had no idea who he messed with. He kept asking Ian all those questions and the young man became impatient. If he asked him to step out of the vehicle Ian was ready to kill him immediately. Fortunately the policeman was called off to another case so Ian could keep on riding. This time no one stopped them and so he parked in front of the headquarters and carried still sleeping Alice into her bed. He did inform Shepherd earlier about what happened but didn't ask about his other moves, he simply told their mother that he was taking his sister home. She had enough.

Alice woke up. And was in her own bed. She was still kind of… from blood but she was home.  
"Is this another fucking test?" She covered her eyes and tried to disappear in that mattress. Not this, not anymore, please. Those words were echoing in her head but she said them aloud. Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to you?  
Ian was there, standing by the window, waiting for her to wake up. When she finally did, her words broke his heart. He turned to her, afraid to look at her.  
"You're safe, Alice," he sat on the bed, next to her. "You're safe…,"  
"I wanted to die. Last night I really wanted to die," she confided to him, quietly sobbing into her pillow. She was weak. If Shepherd wasn't satisfied with her - she couldn't even blame her. After this? Who would want her on a mission? Who would want her to even do something?! "I am weak."  
"You're not, you did great, my dear," he put his hand on her back and started caressing her. "You passed it, you did it. It's over, Alice. It's over. You are anything but weak. You are the strongest person that ever walked this world. You really are. Now you need to rest, you need to get well." he was almost whispering but he knew she heard him.  
"I need to get out of these clothes. I need to wash the blood off of me and I need my brother by my side so I could recognize what's real and what's in my head!" She turned to him, wild eyes, trembling and so fucking desperate. "How long have I been there?"  
"Three weeks," he answered. "I'm so sorry for all of this, I…," he bit his lower lip, the tears trying to get in his eyes again. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. Alice… can you forgive me?" he looked her in the eyes.  
"There's nothing to forgive. Mother made you to do it. I bet some of them even enjoyed my torturing." Suddenly she paused, looking around herself. "We're not going back, right?"  
"No, we're not. I'm never gonna let you go there again. Never," he couldn't forgive himself, couldn't live with himself. "Did you… did you recognize me? When I was… when I was the one…" he couldn't force himself to say it loud. Maybe if he didn't talk about it, it all would vanish as if it's never happened.  
"No… Once I thought you were there… but my mind is really fucked up right now so… I only recognized Cade. Fucking bastard." She was so glad it was over. But… could Ian really be there? "Were you there? When… When I was out of my mind? When everything was so dark?"  
"I was there when we brought you in. I thought I was hard on you but I was told I wasn't. I gave you that cold shower," he wasn't sure if she could still remember that one. "And yes, I was there after Cade, if that's what you mean. I tried to leave some clues but I couldn't… If they found out… Fuck, I wanted to kill Cade for what he did to you, I wanted to kill everyone. Wanted them to experience the same pain you had to go through. No, not the same, worse. I wanted them to suffer, all of them, to beg for their deaths," he said with hatred. "And I would, if Shepherd wasn't there all the time."  
"What if they heard you? What were you saying to me? What if mother knows? Those were things no one was supposed to hear, Ian!" Now she was scared. And hurt. So it really was him. Kissing her and then yelling in changed voice. It was cruel but she understood he had to do that.  
"It was her idea, actually," he admitted. "She knows that I love you. Everybody knows, you're my sister. She thought it could help… breaking you. But you were already broken by then so I just tried to give you… hope? I don't know. She's been watching, listening this whole time but she left after Cade."  
"I thought you were talking in my head. When you spoke of Baltimore. I was just… thinking I am going crazy. I wanted to see you so badly." Alice was whispering again with closed eyes, tears falling from them. "I am really broken after all."  
"I'm so sorry, I didn't…" he wanted to slap himself. "Come here," he laid behind her and placed his hand around her tortured body. She was even tinier than before, lost weight rapidly. "I'm not gonna leave you."  
"I need to get to shower. I don't think I can handle these clothes anymore." There were some parts of her body where still was blood, some were aching more… or less - but she needed that. After three weeks of only cold water she needed a bit of 'relax time'. _How am I supposed to relax in this condition? Will I ever be fine? Not this broken, shattered shell?_  
"Right, I'm sorry. I…," he blinked several times to keep those damn tears away because she didn't need to see him crying, she would have the need to calm him down and that's what he was there for. "I'm gonna make you something to eat?"  
"That would be great, thank you."

The next two months were tough. Alice tried to gain some of her strength back - successfully, even if her mind wasn't the same and often just didn't feel hunger or thirst, she remembered it _would be_ good to get something into her body if she wanted to get better.  
Despite the fact she was home, the nightmares were still there. Sometimes Alice woke up screaming - which was good for her. But there were times when she couldn't even scream, just lay in her bed incapable of single movement. With every day her frustration grew stronger - she was practising, after month she was capable of running - so she did. Every morning run to the forest but one day she lost it. She was there maybe for two hours? She didn't know but felt a bit better. Her eyes were red, throat so sore from screaming - but eventually she got better.  
Her body was healing, slowly but was. However her mind was completely something else. She wanted to go to her brother to tell him: _"It's okay. You don't have to punish yourself for what she made you do to me. I brought this upon myself. I agreed, you were against it."_ But simply she couldn't. She didn't want to be with him so broken so… wrecked. Because everytime he would look at her, he would see a torture. A woman, a sister who he was forced to torture.


	12. Meet Olivia Shawn

It has been more than a month already since this new girl, Olivia Shawn, joined Kurt Weller and his team. At first he was reluctant, unsure to trust her because from what he was told she was a newbie. But soon she proved to be a great member. She got well with everyone, especially Reade was very friendly to her. And even Mayfair saw a huge potential in this redhead.

And so he admitted she wasn't that bad at all and started to pair with her because she still had a lot to learn and who would be better to teach her than the best agent of their local FBI building?

"Morning," he said as he came to the work this morning. There was only Patterson, drinking her morning coffee and reading her messages.

"Good morning. Mayfair's looking for you," the blond woman told him and so Kurt went to see his superior. Just as he left Olivia came in. "Morning," Patterson greeted her friend with a smile and handed her cup of coffee. "They had your favourite ginger latte."

"Oh, come on! I told you _stop buying me latte_! You're here always before me. This way I'm never gonna pay you back!" But still, she was smilling. "Thanks and morning to everyone else." Meet Olivia Shawn, well in fact Lavinia. But everyone called her Liv, so it really didn't matter.

"Tonight's still on?" Patterson asked her. The women planned to go to the bar together.

"Still on," Liv agreed and looked around herself. "Zapata's going too, right? We're gonna rock it!" She looked really happy for this was, in a way, normal life she always wanted. "Oh, come on, blondie! No high five?"

"Right, right," she gave her high five and chuckled. "Yes, she's gonna join us later, like at nine. She's dealing with her ex, he owes her some money," she said quietly.

"I don't understand it. I really don't. Why just don't beat him?" When Patterson gave her _that_ look, she just shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, fine. So not beat him but… report him?"

"They know each other since they were eight, I guess she just hopes he changes one day? They loved each other very much and if it wasn't for his cheating…," she saw Zapata at the end of the hall, "so tonight at eight?"

"Yep, tonight at eight."Liv agreed. This night Roman wasn't supposed to visit her but she missed him. He was… distant these days and there was nothing she could do. Only to wait and be his anchor.

"Alright," Kurt Weller came back just as Reade and Zapata approached them. "We have work to do. Do you remember Margaret Palicki?" He asked and Patterson frowned.

"Aka Silver Cross?"

"That's her. She just escaped from prison. Word is she works with Jason Matthews."

"Oh no," she sighed and turned to Olivia. "Palicki is former nun turned serial killer. She killed almost twenty people in three years, all of them strangled with silver cross necklace. And Matthews planned to bomb pharmaceutical congress but we didn't have enough evidence so we had to release him. He was careful ever since but if these two work together… where could they…," she ran to her computer and started to type. "Oh no, oh no!" She mumbled.

"What is it?" Kurt Weller asked her with his typical frown.

"I knew there was something I missed. Of course they went to the same high school. But why would they work together? Palicki killed only people who, according to her, were heathens. What brings them together?" They could almost hear her brain working while she was typing many things, searching all the resources she had to find the one connection she was missing. "Serial killer and bomber, serial killer and bomber," she kept repeating.

"Blondie, you have to translate it to language which we understand. We don't have such brain capacity as you." Liv was trying to lighten the moment but she knew it was pretty serious.

And so Patterson explained it again to everyone else. They found out that the two subjects were about to bomb a summit in WayRight Ltd. Corporation. The main goal of the corporation was finding cures for diseases such as cancer, aids…

But their work contained experimental treatment which many people found unnatural, immoral and were against it. Today they held support to introduce a cure they came with.

And so Kurt and his team went to the main building, searched it and after many obstacles they had, including Reade disarming a bomb, Zapata shooting Silver Cross and Kurt accidentally threatening a civilian, they could say the mission was successful.

And it was really a big success - even for Liv for she got the plans that Sandstorm needed. _Yes! I'm good. Who's good? You are GREAT Lavinia! You are better than Remi!_ And maybe she did a little winning-dance but you never know, right? So she called Roman to get those plans from her. She was so excited! This was yet the biggest mission she ever had!

They set the meeting on that afternoon so she had plenty of time for her evening plans. He waited for her in her apartment, it was almost a week since they last saw each other and he missed her terribly. Besides he was really proud of her for Sandstorm was trying to get hold of those plans for months already!

As he heard the door unlock Ian went to greet his girlfriend, smiling and obviously happy to see her.

"Hey, Lav," he said with a smile.

"Hey to yourself. I am so happy to see you again!" She almost knocked him down with all that happiness. He pressed her closer to himself and kissed her hi.

"I missed you," he said honestly as she was in his arms. It was clear that he was calm again, finally over all that he was forced to do to his sister.

 

After they enjoyed their time together Ian took the plans and went back to the headquarters where he immediately ran to Shepherd's office.

"Guess what Lavinia brought us!" He told his mother once he stepped in.

"We'll talk about this later," she looked at Alice with sharp nod and turned to Ian. "She got those plans?" She started smiling and stood up from her chair. This was a great piece of news. "I knew she had a potential."

"She's the best," he smirked with pride and handed her the plans. "This speeds up our operation about a month? Two?" He sat next to his sister but didn't look at her. He knew she still didn't approve of his relationship with Lavinia and was probably angry as fuck right now but he didn't care. Lavinia did wonderful job today and even Alice should appreciate it.

"Absolutely. Next time you'll see her, just say thank you for me. Remi, I believe you are supposed to train with Cade. So go there." Alice was so angry, she was shaking but did as was told.

"I am so relieved we finally have those. We can properly discuss end of phase one and the start of phase two," Shepherd smiled at him.

"About that, I thought I could take her somewhere for the weekend. Do you have any tasks for us?" Ian asked his mother once Alice was gone. He didn't want her to hear that. "She's having free weekend from the work, so…"

"Well, of course. We can discuss it later."

 

When Alice get to their training room, Cade was already there, smirking and talking to Oscar. She never told anyone, except her brother, she recognized him, back then. Her body and strengths were in good shape and at this moment she was grateful Shepherd ordered her to train with people who tortured her. _At some point of your life, there will be moments where you will have to work with somebody you despise, hate or even love. You need to get from that shell we put you into and start act like you are good - even more than that. Fool us. Fool me!_

Even Cade could tell something was wrong with her. But it was hard to find out what because the torture changed her. Even he could see it was pretty nasty and violent and she was forced to live through it every day for three weeks. But now there was something in her eyes. Something no one saw for a long time. Some kind of _spark._ And then he recognized it - this was _the_ Remi. _The raging Remi._ The _survivor._

And he… Well, he was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come to say hi on my [Tum](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/psychoangiethings)/[blr](https://psychoangiethings.tumblr.com)  
> 


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